Yes.

In fairness, Citi executives didn’t personally come up with the items for this menu, being served at 383 Greenwich. That was the job of the people who run the bank’s cafeteria, Restaurant Associates.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Goldman To Shut Down Global Macro Trading Desk (WSJ)
The trading desk, which made bets with Goldman’s capital in foreign-exchange markets, interest-rate markets, stocks, commodities and other fixed-income markets, will close out its trades in coming days. Goldman decided to shut the unit to comply with the Volcker rule, a provision of the Dodd-Frank financial-overhaul law that is intended to curb the ability of banks to take risks with their own capital. Some members of Goldman’s eight-person trading desk will leave the company, according to people familiar with the situation. Karl Devine, who ran the four-person staff in London, and others on his staff are in talks with London-based hedge funds, including Brevan Howard, said people familiar with the matter.

In Prison Interview, Bernie Madoff Says Banks ‘Had’ To Know (NYT)
“They had to know,” Mr. Madoff said. “But the attitude was sort of, ‘If you’re doing something wrong, we don’t want to know.’ ”

NYSE Takeover Faces Touchy Issues (WSJ)
“You keep saying it’s an acquisition,” Mr. Niederauer told reporters Tuesday. “It is a merger. … I don’t know how many more times we can say that.” A joint news release called the deal “a business combination agreement.”

Borders Files For Bankruptcy (Bloomberg)
In its filing U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan, the company listed debt of $1.29 billion and assets of $1.28 billion.

Fairholme Will Move to Oust St. Joe Board (WSJ)
Fairholme Capital Management LLC will move to replace St. Joe’s board by written consent of the majority of the company’s shareholders, according to people familiar with the matter.

SocGen Net Quadruples on Russia, Investment Bank (Bloomberg)
Societe Generale rose as much as 4.2 percent after saying today that net income climbed to 874 million euros ($1.18 billion) from 221 million euros a year earlier, beating the 865 million-euro average estimate of 12 analysts surveyed by Bloomberg.

Anthem man, 84, talks about being stranded in desert for 5 days, drinking windshield wiper fluid (AZC)
He had only a small portion of pasta with him, which he did not eat because it made him thirsty. When his thirst got strong enough, he broke the top off of the windshield wiper fluid container and drank the liquid.

Michael Lewis: Why Things Fell Apart (Bloomberg)
Wall Street leaders now understand that they made a mistake, one born of their innocent and trusting nature. They trusted ordinary Americans to behave more responsibly than they themselves ever would, and these ordinary Americans betrayed their trust. Amazingly, these ordinary Americans don’t even appear to feel guilty for their actions. Like wild animals that have lost their fear of humans, they continue to wander down from the hills to rummage through our garbage cans for sustenance.

Banks Make Loans Straight To Public Borrowers (WSJ)
J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. is devoting billions of dollars to direct loans this year to both refinance deals and for new projects, according to a bank official. Last year, the bank made a few hundred million dollars of direct loans to municipalities. Now, the bank would consider making a single loan for hundreds of millions of dollars, the official said. It also is dispatching teams to explain the concept to wary public borrowers. “This used to be unheard of,” says Eric Friedland, managing director of public finance at Fitch Ratings, noting that in the past, banks would occasionally loan a municipality less than $1 million to finance projects too small for a bond offering. For bigger loans, they would form a syndicate with other lenders.

Banks Demand Bigger Down Payments (WSJ)
The median down payment in nine major U.S. cities rose to 22% last year on properties purchased through conventional mortgages.

Merkel’s Man Confirmed as New Bundesbank Chief (Reuters)
German Chancellor Angela Merkel confirmed on Wednesday the nomination of her top economic aide Jens Weidmann as Bundesbank chief and stressed his independence, saying he would defend Germany’s “stability culture” at the European Central Bank.

Donald Trump Shows Interest In Ownership Of Mets (NYT)
Trump said Tuesday that he called Fred Wilpon, the Mets’ principal owner, about two weeks ago to arrange a face-to-face meeting to discuss the potential sale of the club. The meeting has not been held, said Trump, who made it clear that he would be interested only in buying a majority stake in the team.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

What’s zero divided by four?

Just kidding of course (though in same cases not kidding at all). As previously mentioned, Credit Suisse has jumped on the tantra bandwagon and decided that 2010 bonuses will be paid out through 2014 (bonuses above $50,000 are subject to deferral, no matter the recipient’s title at the bank). Here’s what employees have to work with:

The bank trimmed compensation by 2.4%, to 14.5 billion Swiss francs from 14.9 billion Swiss francs in 2009. The cuts were deepest in the bank’s bonus pool, which decreased by one-quarter in 2010 to 5.14 billion Swiss francs ($5.3 billion) compared with 6.85 billion Swiss francs in 2009. Average pay per employee was 297,944 Swiss francs ($306,611), down from 313,592 Swiss francs in 2009.

Credit Suisse Decreases Pay And Bonuses [FINS]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Amid a debate on whether Germany should set quotas for women on the boards of major groups, Josef Ackermann acknowledged there were none on the bank’s executive committee, a subordinate body to the board of directors. “But I hope it will be prettier and more colourful one day” when more women are named, business daily Handelsblatt quoted Ackermann as saying. [Economic Times via BI]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

On Tuesday we reported that UBS has informed employees despite expecting bonus information this week, they’d have to sit tight a bit longer, with “bonus communication day” being pushed back to February 16 (and payment in March). The bank had said they just wanted to make sure they were properly complying with regulations (you know how it is). David Faber, however, has heard another theory.

UBS’s bonus pool for 2010 was so small as to be termed “unworkable” by a number of senior executives at the bank, and the payout has now been delayed as pleas are made to the UBS board for the pool to be increased, according to people familiar with the situation.

UBS Delays Bonus Pool [CNBC]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

The hedge fund has taken a £100m short position in the bank.

[DES], which has $21bn (£13bn) in assets under management, disclosed that it had built a 0.26pc short position. The position is worth £97m after Barclays’ shares closed down 4.4 at 306.6p on Monday…Hedge funds on both sides of the Atlantic made considerable gains by betting against banks’ share prices during the financial crisis and DE Shaw’s move will raise fears that some again sense an opportunity. Analysts and investors remain split on the bank’s future prospects. Some have expressed concern over the performance of Barclays Capital, the investment bank, and the impact of the Basel III rules on the group’s future funding costs.

And on a slightly more optimistic note.

UBS and Merrill Lynch both issued upbeat notes last week in which they said Barclays could be moving towards a restructuring. UBS said Barclays could sell off assets and restructure to avoid a profit fall in the wake of the introduction of Basel III.

[Telegraph via BI]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

A handbook for the bank’s trainees gives a country-by-country behavior guide. In Russia, it tells employees to be prepared to hold your drink at business engagements and to “never reject an invitation to the sauna.” [AP]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Kevin Connors, co-head of global G10 FX sales, is “leaving” the bank following “a breach of internal compliance procedures.” [Bloomberg]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Mark your calendar, ladies:

Supposedly Goldman Sachs’s bonus numbers- i.e. the most important figures in the world and those by which all other bank employees measure their self-worth- will be officially communicated January 20th. Will the day end in tears of joy or the kind used as lube to JO&C? Stay tuned.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Okay, that’s not entirely fair- employees will receive some of the cash they earned in 2010 this year, some in 2012, a little in 2013, and the remainder of the payout in 2014 (all of which is subject to a clawback clause). Sound like fun? It’s the Swiss bank’s take on tantra.

Credit Suisse said Monday it will alter how it pays banker bonuses for 2010, taking into account shareholder criticism and increasing government involvement in year-end rewards.The Zurich-based bank’s cash bonuses will be paid out over four years—one-quarter annually—and be linked to Credit Suisse’s return-on-equity from next year to 2014. The return on equity over the four years represents the maximum potential for the cash awards to rise, Credit Suisse said. Cash bonuses can be clawed back should employee actions later prove to harm the bank, its reputation or earnings, Credit Suisse said.

In bonuses paid out as bank stock, Credit Suisse is removing leverage from 2010’s plan, which investors had criticized in past years because bankers could win additional shares depending on the bank’s share price, without ceding any shares if the stock slumped.Credit Suisse is also lowering to 50,000 Swiss francs ($51,500) the threshold for bonuses to be deferred as opposed to paid out in cash, from 125,000 francs previously.

Credit Suisse Tweaks Bonus Plan [WSJ]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker