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ProPublica reports that JPMorgan is being investigated by the SEC to determine whether or not the bank adequately disclosed to investors that the securities that went into a CDO were selected by hedge fund Magnetar Capital, which was betting against the deal (JPMorgan apparently lost approximately $880 million on the deal and what’s more). Two problems seem apparent up front– one, unlike Goldman Sachs, whose CDO had the badass name of ABACUS, JPMorgan’s version is called “Squared.” And two, no one has said anything about the role of a Frenchman who describes himself as “fabulous” and writes gushy emails to his ex-girlfriend on the company dime. That’s not going to bode well for JPMorgan when it comes time for Congress to decide whether or not this thing is worthy of a hearing and/or Senator Carl Levin describing it as “shitty” 700 times on live TV. Given that everything on Wall Street is a competition, and JPMorgan is no poor man’s Goldman, I’m going to go ahead and tip off JD and Co as to the only way they’re going to be able to come out on top of this thing. If this woman’s involvement in the deal comes to light:

SEC Investigating Deal Between JPMorgan And Hedge Fund [ProPublica]
Happy Halloween From Shaq/Shaqeeta [Twitter via WSJ]

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[images by Timothy Norris for LA Weekly] Jay-Z popped into the Staples Center on Friday night as part of his BP3 tour, and Young Jeezy was with him. As was Trey Songz, who prefaced the show with some of his own wholeheartedly enjoyed rhymes.

Needless to say, the show was completely sold out and sported a 10-piece band, which consisted of three horn players, two guitarists, keyboardists and drummers. (That's 10, right? No. It's not.) So we can't leave out the emcee of the night, Memphis Bleek, who would make 10. But quite honestly, we expect nothing but the best from Jay-Z. What we don't expect, however, is the Brooklynite cutting out time in his show to sing “Happy Birthday” to a girl wielding a sign announcing that Friday was her birthday. We think it's safe to say that Miss B not only landed herself one of (if not THE) most successful hip hop artists in history, but she also scored a gentleman.

An emphasized “we wish we were there” really doesn't even come close to covering it.

[images by Timothy Norris for LA Weekly]

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