Date: May 20, 2011 8:58 AM
Subject: A Modest Proposal Back at President Obama

A Modest Proposal Back at President Obama:

In the spirit of inherently “reasonable” historical precedent, and given the current situation is “unsustainable”, we propose rolling back the giant ever-growing socialistic regulatory liberty-crushing nanny state to its pre-1967 borders.

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They can also suck it, but first things first.

“When it comes to fees, true skills should still be worth a lot,” Asness said at the Buttonwood Gathering, a conference organized by the Economist magazine in New York. “If there’s any problem with the hedge-fund industry it’s not that there aren’t strategies worth 2 and 20, it’s that the whole industry is being priced as if it’s skill…The problem with hedge funds being net long is not that net long is a bad idea, it’s that they are charging 2 and 20″ for investing in stocks, Asness said.

And if anyone investing with firms that charge fees of 3 and 50 is thinking of making noise, you’d be advised to zip it. The first person to complain gets them raised to 5&75 for the whole group and another 5% for every peep thereafter.

Asness: Skill Merits 2 and 20 [CT Post]

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They cut/piss people off on the morning commute and effectively ruin their days.

“FYI– Cliff Asness pulled out of his driveway and cut me off on North Street this AM. Then he got on Merritt in front of me – all to go 55 mph. I saw it was him when I passed, in his late-model Porsche.”

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Late last week, Bloomberg Markets profiled AQR founder Cliff Asness, who has continued his boyhood “obsession” with comic books and their characters into adulthood. His desk in Greenwich is home to Spiderman, Captain America, The Hulk and Iron Man, he has a Captain America shield on his right bicep and he “identifies with” many a super hero. In sum, Asness fancies himself one of them and to that end, is clearly dying for someone to make a character modeled after him. A very talented DB reader (and fellow hedge fund quant) did just that. As we were discussing possible sidekicks and a love interest for Quant Man, however, we realized there was a problem that needed rectifying. Before we can continue with Cliff, who is the one person who truly deserves her own action figure?

The Dollar Dominatrix. With JPMorgan reporting earnings tomorrow and the other banks next week, we need to get on this and fast. Our vision for the DD is that she should probably be wearing some sort of leather get-up, with maybe a dollar sign on the front. And Perhaps a cat-o-nine nails or spreader/truss bar in one hand and I don’t know, a client report in the other? Or should it a pair of balls, with the suggestion that they come from the Wall Street bull? We are open to and welcome your ideas.

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A talented DB reader submitted the following image in response to our earlier Cliff Asness post, wherein we learned the he has not only a lifelong love of but “identifies with” many a super hero, and suggested there might be a hope inside him that someone, one day, will create a character modeled after the AQR founder. We think the sketch bears a haunting resemblance to the man himself and view it as a solid first attempt at Quant Man (working title).

Thoughts? Is he missing anything? What are his powers? Etc.

(Cliff has not yet responded to a request for comment.)

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These are your hints:

1) Asness is currently a Marvel comic book collector, in addition to his duties at AQR Capital

2) As we know from Scott Patterson’s The Quants, as a teenager in on Long Island, Asness was “obsessed with little besides girls and comic books”

3) Also from The Quants, the following image: “Friday morning at AQR, August 10. Asness glanced pensively at a candy-colored array of Marvel superhero figurines lined up along his east-facing window. Spiderman. Captain America. The Hulk. Iron Man.”

4) In a new profile of Cliff out tomorrow in Bloomberg Markets magazine, the manager sits on his desk flanked by said dolls, in a full-page glossy photo.

Okay, give it your best shot.

If you answered “a shield of Captain America,” that’s right! Richard Teitelbaum, who wrote the Bloomberg story called “The Quant Who Won’t Shut Up,” discusses said tattoo in a podcast found here, shamefully admitting to not snapping a pic of the goods.

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The University of Chicago’s new business school building, designed by Rafael Vinoly who was inspired by Frank Lloyd Wright’s 1910 Robie House across the street, is oriented around a six-story, glass-and-steel atrium that acts as the school’s “living room.” The social space has helped change the view that the business school is a haven for math geeks and social misfits, said Stacey Kole, a deputy dean. “We’re working hard to break that perception,” Kole said. “When you come to campus, you see more activity. It’s a much more positive place to be.” [Bloomberg]

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Forty-six percent of you are likely feeling prettay prettay prettay good this morning, possibly on account of celebratory morning drinks. The rest of you are probably in not as great a place, on account of having just thrown away the last 4-6 months of your lives.

In the event you want to express whatever emotions are running high right now, be it anger or sadness, but work in narrow-minded institutions that will presumably not appreciate psychotic meltdowns, the likes of which would have Steve Slater and Cliff Asness slowly backing out of the room, or JO&C’ing on company property, don’t be shy about letting it out right here. Tell us about how you skipped a midget-themed Memorial Day pool party for this crap and this is the thanks you get?? We’re listening.

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And frankly, it’s insulting. Not unlike the fact that the Cliff Asness donated $71,600 to Republicans this year and $409 to the Senator from Connecticut.

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