Earlier this week, a cobra escaped from the Bronx Zoo. With a snake on the loose in NYC, was CNBC anchor Mandy Drury ever “afraid it would make its way” to her apartment? Not in the least, she told a co-worker, who interviewed her at her desk about the situation earlier today.

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The following excerpt is from The Asylum: The Renegades Who Hijacked The World’s Oil Market, a new book by reporter Leah McGrath Goodman.

The board’s first trip to Dubai did not go smoothy. After meetings with city officials and the DDIA executives, the Nymex directors were looking forward to a night out on the town. They were told that alcohol was hard to come by in a Muslim city, but they’d also been informed Dubai had an impressive selection of exotic prostitutes. “You know what the pecking order is for prostitutes in Dubai? Arab women are the most expensive, followed by the European and American women, then Asians, then Latinas, then, well pretty much everyone else,” says the Nymex straffer who was asked by the board to look into the rates of sex workers for the night (the exchange’s budget, after all, did have a line item for “board entertainment”).

About eighteen of the twenty board members on the trip, according the staffer, wanted to go to the local brothels. “We were staying at the Emirates Towers. When I got back to the hotel that night, a board member was coming in who had two girls with him. At the hotel, you can sign in one hooker, but you have to pay a fee of $100. You can’t sign in two hookers because apparently that would be un-Islamic. The board member wanted me to sign the second girl under my name, because I didn’t have anyone with me. I didn’t want a prostitute under my name, so I wrote another board member’s name instead, and also his rom number. Then I went to bed. Hours later, I get a panicked call from the front desk. They’re telling me to come down, there’s been a big problem.”

“I rush down to find the board member whose name I had written down, all 5’7 of him, with this 6’2 Russian prostitute. He is screaming bloody murder because they’re telling him he has already signed in a prostitute and he hasn’t. I go over to the guy behind the desk and explain the situation. I give him $200. The guy behind the desk is happy. The board member is happy. I am happy because I am going back to bed. Then I get another call at dawn. A third board member is in trouble. He sounds very far away and he’s scared to death. He’s lie, ‘I woke up here in this shantytown and I don’t know where I am!” He apparently went home with his hooker. Now he’s somewhere in a slum on the outskirts of Dubai and his wallet’s been stolen. I’m like, ‘Forget your wallet! Your’e lucky you still have internal organs!’”

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At least that seems to be the implication, based on this laminated list of the top things women do to “sabotage their careers,” which is can apparently be found on the desk of every female HR employee at the ‘group. [DX]

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Well in case if you were wondering if I ever get up from my desk, here’s evidence to the contrary, courtesy of this morning’s San Francisco Chronicle. In the photo, taken at yesterday’s Apple product launch event, that’s me in the middle; the Apple aficionado on the right is my [...]

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I don’t really have anything else to say about that, I just thought that you should know. (Although I will add that I’m surprised Carl Levin didn’t work this into last week’s routine: The email thread praising Raazi begins with Sparks writing to Montag and telling him “Cactus Raazi did a fantastic job for the desk.” Sparks added, “Please recognize Cactus when you get a chance.”) [Reuters]

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According to Scott Galloway, of “don’t burst into show tunes, urinate on the desk, or practice hair-removal in my class” fame.

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The problem this time around, according to ML? Was that “most of the dicks were stupid.” Stewart’s two cents: “The entire financial market was a bunch of George Costanazas, telling lies they believed.” (And banging their cleaning ladies on the desk, do not forget that.) Also, note the cat-calling for Einhorny from the audience. Nice to see others finally getting on board.

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