Just, go with him on this.

That adorable skunk, Pepé Le Pew, is one of my wife Sue’s favorite cartoon characters. There’s something affable, even romantic about him as he seeks to woo his female companions with a French accent and promises of a skunk bungalow and bedrooms full of little Pepés in future years. It’s easy to love a skunk – but only on the silver screen, and if in real life – at a considerable distance. I think of Congress that way. Every two or six years, they dress up in full makeup, pretending to be the change, vowing to correct what hasn’t been corrected, promising discipline as opposed to profligate overspending and undertaxation, and striving to balance the budget when all others have failed. Oooh Pepé – Mon Chéri! But don’t believe them – hold your nose instead! Oh, I kid the Congress. Perhaps they don’t have black and white stripes with bushy tails. Perhaps there’s just a stink bomb that the Congressional sergeant-at-arms sets off every time they convene and the gavel falls to signify the beginning of the “people’s business.” Perhaps. But, in all cases, citizens of America – hold your noses. You ain’t smelled nothin’ yet.

Bill, for one, will not be fooled again.

Sunked [PIMCO]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Last January, Ms. Mascherin and her partner, Michel Tamisier, both former managers at the French fund Carmignac, created Precious Time, a fund dedicated to collectible watches. In a world hungry for placements and starving for returns, advisers are finding that “exotic” investment products have a refreshing appeal. “We see desperation around because traditional investments, including alternatives like real estate, private equity or hedge funds, have seen tremendous volatility since 2008,” said Massimo Monti, a principal at Rasini & C., an independent advisory company specializing in alternative and hedge fund investments. Ms. Mascherin said: “We are not leveraging and we are not shorting. Our shareholder is the owner of the physical stock. It is not a virtual investment.” [NYT]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Shares of solar energy technology provider Energy Conversion Devices (ENER) are down 77 cents, or 24%, at $2.39, after the company yesterday afternoon warned that changes in subsidies in France and Italy may cut its revenue this quarter by as much as 50%.

CEO Mark Morelli remarked, “The dramatic and abrupt shift in the French and Italian solar incentive structures has impacted our business and forced us to reconsider our near-term financial outlook.”

However, Jefferies & Co.’s Jesse Pichel warns against drawing too broad a conclusion from Energy Conversion’s woes.

The company is “uniquely worse off in Italy,” he writes, with the 75% of its sales coming from that country and from France. Italy was in fact 45% to 50% of the December quarter’s sales, he notes.

“Tier One brands can reallocate,” he believes, and projects will resume in Italy in the second half of this year once subsidy issues are settled.

Pichel recommends Satcon (SATC), Sunpower (SPWRA), Yingli Green Energy (YGE), and Trina Solar (TSL).

Shares of solars are broadly lower this morning, albeit in a generally weak market: First Solar (FSLR) is off $1.05, or 0.8%, at $139; Sunpower is down 67 cents, or 5%, at $13.99; Trina is down 35 cents, or 1.4%, at $24.47; YGE is off 16 cents, or 1.5%, at $10.22; and SATC is down 12 cents, or 3.6%, at $3.36.

Article courtesy of Tech Trader Daily

The French know fashion; they invented the little black dress (thank you, Chanel!) and pioneered the mini skirt (cheers, Courrèges!). Parisians look très chic every day of the year, which is to be expected from the fashion capital of the world. Read the full story

Remember Judy Joo? She’s the woman who interned at Goldman Sachs and then spent four years in fixed income research and derivative sales at Morgan Stanley before saying good-bye to John Mack and becoming a chef. She studied at the French Culinary Institute and then worked as a pastry chef at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay and now she’s getting her very own kitchen, heading the restaurant at the new London Playboy Club. Joo’s very excited, of course, and hopes everyone working in London and visiting for business will pop over to eat some food served by some bunnies, who will “have the honor of wearing the iconic uniform of their predecessors — silk bodice, bow tie, wrist cuffs and of course bunny ears and fluffy tail.” Knowing how her former colleagues can be real insufferable pricks when it comes to members of the waitstaff, however, getting bent out of shape if the people serving them food are simply hot but not super smart, Joo has preemptively allayed any fears about the intelligence level of her girls.

“The whole thing about being a Playboy bunny is not just about being a pretty face with a rocking body: It’s about having a personality,” she said. “These bunnies are going through many different types of tests, even math, to get a position, so they’re looking for a well-rounded individual who is smart.

Bunnies are also encouraged to sit for the Level 3 CFA exam, says a club representative.

Don’t underestimate that human representation of the Oryctolagus Cuniculus helping to relieve you of your bonus at the gaming tables: “Bunny Dealers need mental-arithmetic abilities comparable to a city broker,” the club said.

And if you are a City broker with an ass comparable to a Bunny- do know they are currently accepting resumes.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

As you may remember, prior to his flogging on Capitol Hill, we were privy to Goldman Sachs employee Fabrice Touree’s emails to lady-friend he was looking to bed. He did so by begging off the “fabulous” titles (“I’m not fabulous, you’re fabulous”) and laying it on embarrassingly thick with Marine Serras (with lines like “[My friend Mitch] would call me the fabulous Fab even though there is nothing fabulous about me, just kindness, altruism and deep love for some gorgeous and super smart French girl in London”). In its recently released “who to blame for the crisis” report, the FCIC thought it prudent to release a few more excerpts.

In a line that’s been in the public domain for some time, Tourre went on to say he didn’t fully understand the “monstrosities” he created and sold to investors. Then the previously unreleased portion resumed:

“Anyway, not feeling too guilty about this, the real purpose of my job is to make capital markets more efficient and ultimately provide the U.S. consumer with more efficient ways to leverage and finance himself,” Mr. Tourre wrote.

Then this: “So there is a humble, noble and ethical reason for my job amazing how good I am in convincing myself!!!”

This is what your employers mean when they say don’t put anything embarrassing in an email.

The further misadventures of Goldman’s ‘fabulous Fab’ [Crain's]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

US Added Few Jobs Amid Bad Weather (WSJ)
Nonfarm payrolls rose by 36,000 last month, far below Wall Street expectations; economists surveyed by Dow Jones Newswires had forecast payrolls would rise by 136,000. Manufacturers reported employment gains but builders, transportation and warehousing companies reported declines, likely due to bad winter weather.

Goldman Sachs Turns Bullish on Europe Banks as Debt Risk Eases (Bloomberg)
“For financials the narrowing of sovereign spreads in peripheral eurozone, which our economists expect to continue, is a clear positive,” London-based Oppenheimer wrote in the report dated Feb. 3. “Banks are one of the least expensive sectors in the market and the trade-off between their growth prospects and earnings in the next few years looks especially attractive.”

Shumway to Return Client Cash in $8 Billion Fund by End of March (Bloomberg)
Chris Shumway, who announced he would step down as chief investment officer of his $8 billion Shumway Capital Partners LLC in November, said he’ll return client capital by March 31, according to a letter sent to investors. Shumway, 45, who started the Greenwich, Connecticut, firm with $70 million in 2002 and has produced average annual returns of 17 percent before fees, will continue to manage money for himself and his employees.

Jeff Skilling’s Son Found Dead At 20 (NYP)
The 20-year-old son of imprisoned ex-Enron president Jeff Skilling was found dead in his Southern California apartment. Police found the body Tuesday after being told by friends of John Taylor Skilling, a student at Chapman University in Orange, that he had failed to show up for a dinner date and wasn’t answering calls. Bottles of medication were found near Skilling, who reportedly had been distraught over a recent breakup with his girlfriend, police said.

Big Fine Over Bug In ‘Quant’ Program (WSJ)
A unit of French insurer AXA SA agreed to pay $242 million to settle fraud accusations by the Securities and Exchange Commission that it hid from clients for nearly a year a serious software glitch in a quantitative investment model.

Germany’s Merkel, in Reversal, Urges Rescue of Euro (NYT)
In exchange for bolstering the euro zone rescue fund, Mrs. Merkel will press others to mimic Germany’s economic rise. She is proposing to coordinate retirement ages across countries, scrap any links between wages and inflation and bring corporate tax systems closer together. In a remarkable about-face, Mrs. Merkel now wants more economic integration in the euro zone, including regular meetings of its leaders.

‘You Will Be Lynched’ Says Egyptian Policeman (Bloomberg)
“A policeman looked me in the eye and said: ‘You will be lynched today,’ running his finger across his neck. Others spat on us. They hit the two men in our group in the face through the broken windows, scratching Mahmoud and punching my other male friend. Someone pulled my hair from the back.”

BofA Gets $700 Million for Unit Lender Has `No Reason’ to Own (Bloomberg)
The bank will get at least $700 million from QBE Insurance Group Ltd. for the Balboa insurance unit, exiting the market for coverage of foreclosed homes and those with distressed buyers.

Bernanke Denies Fed Is Stoking Inflation (WSJ)
“I think it’s entirely unfair to attribute excess demand pressures in emerging markets to U.S. monetary policy, because emerging markets have all the tools they need to address excess demand in those countries,” he said in answering a question from the audience. “It’s really up to emerging markets to find appropriate tools to balance their own growth.”

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

On September 7, 2010, the home of a single mother named Judith French was sold in a foreclosure auction, despite the fact that her lawyer, Richard Roman, had obtained a temporary restraining order. She then incurred $5,000 in legal fees, which a judge ordered JPMorgan, French’s mortgage servicer to pay. The bank has yet to do so, leaving Roman with no choice but to roll up his sleeves and take matters into his own hands.

The JPMorgan Chase & Co. branch in El Paso, Texas may have furniture and computers seized by the sheriff unless the bank complies with a judge’s order to pay the legal bills of a single mother whose eviction case he dismissed. The manager of the Chase branch was served on Jan. 26 with court papers that instructed the New York-based company to pay attorney Richard A. Roman’s $5,000 in fees, according to Detective Hector Lara, an El Paso County sheriff’s officer. The manager, Jose Gomez, told Lara that the branch’s gear is protected by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. and that he would contact the bank’s security staff and the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Lara said today in a telephone interview.

Lara said he’s waiting for an opinion from the county attorney on whether the bank’s property can be seized. “They don’t have a problem putting my client out in the street,” Roman said. “But when somebody prevails against a bank, they pull every string in the book to avoid paying.”

Now, all of a sudden, having heard their chairs and bathroom fixtures are at risk, a JPMorgan spokesman named Greg Hassell claims his team is “taking steps to pay.”

JPMorgan Faces Texas Sheriff [Bloomberg]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

UBS has issued a 44-page dress code to employees. Unfortunately, our French is a bit rusty so beyond telling female employees to wear pearl necklaces and scarves and men to wear shirts, it’s unclear what exactly they’re saying or if removing one’s cock ring before work is a Do or a Don’t. One thing that that is helpful, if you’ve somehow managed to obtain and hold a job on Wall Street without learning to tie a tie? This handy how-to guide:

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

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