Not okay?

Jack Rappaport is a business professor at Lasalle University. Last month he gave students an opportunity to earn extra credit by taking a “symposium” on business ethics, for which he charged attendees $150. Their admission fee apparently went toward the hiring of three strippers, if you can even call them that, according to some attendees who were not impressed. “They were just dancing around the room,” said junior Louis Halegoua. “I mean, they had clothes on and stuff.” One, however, was apparently was doing a special kind of dance.

“I don’t know, just kind of laying on top of him. Not laying on top of him but straddling him. It was like a lap dance you could say,” said sophomore Brad Bernardino.

It was during the “like a lap dance” portion of the class that the business school’s dean happened to walk by the room and threw a wrench in the professor’s plans.

“We didn’t see him. He was, like, at the door. And he was like, ‘It’s over,’” said Halegoua.

The university has declined to comment, as has Professor Lap Dance, who said he wanted to tell his side of the story but can’t until the school has wrapped up its investigation. While we wait, it seem pretty obvious that if the Dean had simply pulled the instructor out of class and asked what was going on, he would’ve heard that the girls were about to play a serious part in helping the students role play real life situations in which the lessons learned in their biz ethics class could be applied. Situations like:

* “You’re with a client at a strip club and he’s just poured coke on a stripper’s ass [professor pours coke on a stripper's ass] and demands you snort it. Brad, what do you do? Do you refuse and make the client, in this case me, do it?”

* “Louis, your stripper friend mentions she’s bought up shares of a company called Lubrizol that she suggests your boss at Berkshire Hathaway take a look at.** She also says you should consider buying yourself a bunch before pitching it to the head honcho. What do you do?”

* “Brad, you and the stripper are best friends who’ve known each other for years and worked at a hedge fund together called SMACK Capital. During that time you profited off of insider information together. The Feds come to you and say you can get a better deal for yourself and compete in triathlons if you get the stripper on tape talking about how she destroyed evidence with two pair of pliers and the discarded the pieces around the city. the stripper was the the maid of honor at your wedding and helped you get over being dumped by your former fiance. What do you do?”

* “Louis, Brad is your direct report. He’s just killed this stripper and wants you to help him dump the body. You haven’t yet found out your bonus number. What do you do?”
he would’ve poured coke in the strippers’ ass and asked a student to snort it out and said

Lasalle Professor Investigated For Stripper Class [ABC]

**This is actually how David Sokol got the idea.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

“Omaha, 1949. I was 19 and as a late developer, yet to dip little Warren in something sweet. Flush with cash from a summer job, my friends blindfolded me and threw me in the back of a pick-up, then dropped me off in front of the Milner family farm, which Mr. Milner had turned into an after-hours brothel earlier that year (his daughters, the milkmaids by day also served as the “milk”-maids by night, if you catch my drift). Well I just got so excited to get my teats suckled, Becky, that I started pulling money out of my pockets and handing it to one of the girls and before I knew it we were up in the rafters, hay and whatnot flying everywhere, the whole barn is shaking, the chickens are going nuts and it wasn’t until later I found out for the price I paid I could’ve had all three of ‘em and gotten the reverse double fisted butter churn. To this day, never again have a mispriced vaginal assets.”

That was transcribed from the footage of the interview left on the cutting room floor. Below, what CNBC deemed fit to print.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

It’s common knowledge among womenfolk that when one has a big date or otherwise nerves-inducing event to attend, the best way to tame those butterflies is to wear something that makes you feel hot (and/or do some shots beforehand). When you look good you feel good and when you feel good you can focus on the task at hand. For Mike Mayo, that date is Friday, when he meets with Vikram Pandit, the man who jilted him, for the first time in two years.

When Pandit first took office in 2007, the guys hung out on the regular. Then something happened, no one really knows what, and Vickles just stopped calling. Mayo was confused at first and then angry. In June the two had a chance encounter in Boston wherein Pandit asked Mike, as though nothing had ever happened, “How’s it going,” to which the analyst responded, “Not well, I haven’t had a meeting with you in two years.” Pandit, promised then and there to meet with Mike (“It was man to man, eye to eye,” Mayo says) and then not a word. If we thought Mike was angry before, oh, the fury of a woman twice scored really reared head. After considering keying Vikram’s car, Mayo decided to tell clients and whoever else would listen that the bank has been inflating its profits and needs to write down $50 billion of deferred-tax assets. Then came the really low blow, which was suggesting that not even Greek God Jamie Dimon could save that shit-hole. According to Charlie Gasparino, this, not unlike sleeping with all over you ex-boyfriend’s friends, finally got Pandit’s attention. He asked Mayo out and this time, officially set a date. And Mayo is ready. Sartorially speaking, at least.

Mr. Mayo already knows what he will be wearing: a dark suit and a tie he bought in Chicago that is blue with some silver strips on the side. “It is a tie even my secretary thinks is too conservative, so I feel it is perfect for this meeting,” he said.

He’ll also have his girls with him. You know, for moral support. (“Mr. Mayo is bringing 10 or so investors with him.”)

Critic Gets Meeting With Citigroup, Finally [NYT]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

$$$ Bernanke Defends Record On Lehman
[WSJ]

$$$ Obama’s Too Small Steps On The Economy [TDB]

$$$ Paolo Pelligrini: The US Continues To Dig Its Hole Deeper [BI]

$$$ Bedbugs Make Selves Home In Greenwich [GT]

$$$ Russian Girls Invade Hamptons In Hopes Of Becoming Trophy Wives [TDB]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

$$$ Bernanke Defends Record On Lehman
[WSJ]

$$$ Obama’s Too Small Steps On The Economy [TDB]

$$$ Paolo Pelligrini: The US Continues To Dig Its Hole Deeper [BI]

$$$ Bedbugs Make Selves Home In Greenwich [GT]

$$$ Russian Girls Invade Hamptons In Hopes Of Becoming Trophy Wives [TDB]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

From time to time, as it’s right next to the box I need to click to open a new post, I like to check out what terms non-regular readers have searched to end up on this here site. Ping Jiang is a frequent one, as is a rotating cast of CNBC anchorettes, in addition to some that are less expected but certainly welcome, like “dogs playing poker” and “Vladimir Siforov.” Here are today’s:

#1. daniel s. loeb letter

#2. steve cohen GOP

#3. beard stroking

#4. brian hunter

#5. where is joe kernen

#6. carrianne howard

#7. topless shots

#8. Ping Jiang

#9. never mow another man’s lawn

As I’m always working for you but mostly because I demand accuracy in movie quoting, I figured I’d do everyone who is apparently lost a solid and answer the questions implied by the search terms above. So:

1) If you are looking for Dan Loeb’s latest quarterly letter, it is here. 2) Steve Cohen has indeed already rented a bunch of elephant costumes for his P&L analysts to wear for the midterm elections and to ensure the money doesn’t go to waste, he strategizes with GOP operatives every Tuesday night, though that’ll be moved to Wednesdays once The Bad Girls Club on Oxygen returns this fall. 3) I don’t know what you were looking for re “beard stroking” but I like it nevertheless. 4) I suspect this was Brian Hunter Googling himself, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Everybody say “Hi, Brian.” 5) Joe Kernan is on vacation. He’s back after Labor Day. 6) Carrianne Howard is the stripper aligning with hedge fund managers shorting for-profit schools. 7) I don’t think we’ve ever posted an actual topless shot** but feel free to peruse the “topless shots” category. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Don’t know what you wanted to find about Mr. Jiang but his fund was up 49.5% through July YTD. Suck it, bitches. No, really. 9) The line is “Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don’t mow another guy’s lawn.” Write that down.

**Photos that have strategically black bars don’t count.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

The massage enthusiast’s year-long house arrest has come to an end today (it was preceded by jail time), The Daily Beast informs us with the no-frills headline “Billionaire Pedophile Goes Free.” What will Epstein do with his freedom? Will he head to Dubai, as has been suggested? Will he make the trip out to Beamers, where there’s a reasonable assurance the girls are over 14? Will he remain in Palm Beach, having come to appreciate the asses o’ octogenarians? I don’t know. I’ll tell you what I do know, though. There’s only one way to commemorate this occasion. And I think you know what I’m talking about.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

After the Wicker show is the Wicker after party, and well… things can get “pretty wild” from there. Looks like our favorite hot mess “celeb” sisters are proving their party habits were legit and not just for TV.

Recently the girls were spotted at On the Rox with another guest star on the painful-to-watch-but-can't-look-way reality show, Max Nash, the lead singer from Wicker. Based on the photos of kissy faces, “I’m so cool” pouts, peace signs, and blood shot eyes, one can assume that the night was surely not straight laced. Maybe laced with something, but not straight laced. Proving her modeling skills are up to par, Tess Taylor really made sure to work the camera, check out the oh so cool photos of her and her vogue-like poses above. And so it is…

[All photos via TheNightLenz]

Article courtesy of Los Angeles | Guest of a Guest – Los Angeles People, Places, Parties & Nightlife

It comes via his new book, The Rise And Fall Of Bear Stearns, and whether you’re a young whippersnapper who doesn’t know shit or an octogenarian who’s lost his way, you’d be wise to to listen to the guy.

It was sixty-one years ago that I left Oklahoma City.  But it seems like yesterday that my father called me aside at the train station and said, “I’ll give you three pieces of advice: never make fun of a millionaire, never hit a cripple, and never have sex with an idiot.”  The best of my knowledge I’ve remembered all three.

Has the avoidance of these three things allowed Mr. G to have enjoy one of the longest careers on Wall Street (and a successful run at magic on the side)? Maybe! Who knows? We do know that for some of you, avoiding one or all of the above will be difficult so we’ve culled the advice of some other successful (and not so successful!) leading lights, whose perspectives might ring a little more true to your own experiences, and from whom you might learn something.

Dick Fuld: Never stab a hobo that panhandles on your street and whose friends can ID you to the cops.

Alan Greenspan: Make sure your per diem covers the girls.

Someone in Stamford: Never appear on a Spanish language talk-show to dish on your psychopath ex-wife if you consider yourself a highly secretive hedge fund billionaire.

Bill Ackman: Big boy don’t cry.

If any of you have some words of wisdom to impart, some advice someone once told you, please do so at this time.

Greenberg Sets The Record Straight [IDD]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Go HERE for more photos from the night and tag yourself and your friends!

There's definitely a type or crowd Trousdale attracts that your average “North Central” denizen might not be too down with. The truth is, most gripes about places like Trousdale are totally valid. The bouncers are giant wieners, a substantial percentage of the girls tend to dress like, uh, hired help, and guys wearing offensive cologne and man jewelry elbow you out of the way to get to the over-priced bar.  But you can have fun at these sorts of places if you check your pretension at the door and go in with the proper mindset.  This might require a few shots of Patron. And we can help by providing you with the following guide to the ins and outs, as well as some tips, that will help you to embrace a night at Trousdale…

As mentioned, there will be guys in man jewelry, and they love dancing on top of booths like baboons.  it's like their mating call and how they pick up chicks. They're just having a good time and are pretty harmless if you leave them be.

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At a packed club, it's always best if you know someone with a table. This is nothing groundbreaking. Yes, it does mean being mooch, which might be against your fundamental principles but those can take a backseat for the night. I mean, they've already been compromised if you're at Trousdale, right? It also means free drinks, being your own bartender, and not having to fight your way to the bar. So, win.

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Guys if you have a tank top somewhere deep in your closet you've been wanting to give a whirl for shits and giggles, but couldn't subject your friends to the second-hand embarrassment it might cause, this the perfect opportunity.  Most places don't allow guys in tank tops but here they're welcome and totally en vogue. Ladies, just deal with it, it's only a night. man tanks and a little armpit hair in your face never killed anyone.

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It's going to be crowded which means heat and humidity. It can get quite tropical inside a packed club so dress appropriately. Girls, anything mesh and see-through breathes and won't make you look skanky here.  Tops that can come undone are also a good option. Similarly, it's totally acceptable if guys who forgo a tank top to unbutton their shirts when it gets too warm. Give yourself some air.

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Somehow folks still have not gotten the memo that bling is out and still rock oversized diamond encrusted accessories. And they'll be there. Rock yours if you're so inclined.  These guys wear their ice proudly like decorated war veterans and want you to look, so feel free to gawk but no touchy.

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Dance. Who cares if you suck, everyone there's sloppy anyway. You'll get really bored standing off to the side not partaking.  Pretend you're at “M bar.” This is also your chance to let out a couple fist pumps you've been suppressing.

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Look, an indie! Yes, few and far between but they are there. On any given night you can find a handful of them who sucked it up and decided to give their snobbery a rest to join their other friends at da club. You'll likely know the ones you spot.

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The trusty peace sign is alive and well amongst the Trousdale crowd.  If someone directs a lens at you, don't do your Polaroid hipster thing by not smiling.  Throw up a peace if you feel awkward; pointing up and down both work.

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Don't be mind the paparazzi outside.  They will be there assuming the position at the exit to snap the celebs leaving. Just ignore them and be cordial if they're in your way. If you're someone who enjoys getting a rise out of people and the opportunity seems to good to pass up, snap the paps just as you're exiting. It throws them off and they find it exceedingly bothersome. It's irony at its best and will give you great satisfaction to end your night.

Article courtesy of Los Angeles | Guest of a Guest – Los Angeles People, Places, Parties & Nightlife