Tag Archive | "jamie dimon"

Jamie Dimon Got Himself Paid

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Restricted stock valued at $12 million and 367,377 stock appreciation rights valued at $5 million. No word yet on what he’s looking at in cash, but the first pipsqueak to even entertain the thought of asking whether or not he deserves it should think twice. [WSJ, FINS]



Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Jamie Dimon Ruins The Dream

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Like most of you, we like our Jamie Dimon right where we can see him- in our direct line of vision, running JPMorgan, sticking up for banks, going on dates with Lloyd and just being his generally passionate boy-toy CEO self. We can’t imagine JPMorgan without him and don’t want to. In fact, there’s only one other position we’d rather see him in, and that’s running his own bar ‘n grill. Unlike most fantasies, this isn’t one we conjured up with ourselves but rather one that actually came from JD, via his wife, who said a couple years back that one dream of her husband’s was to “open his own restaurant and turning himself into Sam Malone of Cheers.” All we did was flesh the thing out, by picking a venue (the basement of the old Bear Stearns building) and coming up with some fun gimmicks, like $2 dollar shot night. Well, apparently we can put our plans on ice, because today our dream was shattered and not gently.

Dimon, a Democrat, also downplayed persistent speculation he might leave JPMorgan to go into the political arena.

“I love what I do. I want to be here. I want to stay,” he said. “I’m not going into politics and I’m not opening a restaurant.”

Whatever. Like we care.

Dimon: I’m Staying Put And Bank Is Expanding [NYT]



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Goldman Sachs Execs Are Sick Of JPMorgan Getting Away With Everything They Can’t

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A very wise, British-born, not banker but nevertheless partner of Goldman Sachs tasked with dealing with the firm’s image once lamented, “Jamie Dimon tells the government to wank off and the public calls him oh so spirited. Would life change for me if Lloyd wore lifts?” The Masters of the Universe aren’t usually ones to whine (or give a baker’s fuck about what the public thinks) but honestly, what the hell? Why is it that when Goldman has some maybe non-consensual relations with the economy it’s not okay but when JPMorgan does they’re the best bank in the world? How is it that Goldman can somehow get blamed when a kid in Akron, Ohio kicks a puppy but senior management at JPMorgan picks up where Michael Vick left off and they’re just having some fun? Or Lloyd Blankfein is a monster for passing a hobo and only giving him a dollar (when he made so much more last year) but Jamie Dimon rapes the same hobo after helping himself to some change and he’s “just being affectionate.” It’s just not fair and it makes no sense, have come the wails from within 200 West.

The double-standard struck the most sensitive nerve, of course, immediately following the crisis when the hate for Lloyd and GS versus the perceived love for James was so great Goldman’s board considered asking LB to wear a Jamie mask “just in public, or when addressing large groups of people, reporters, etc.” So we were interested to find out if the public’s perception of JD v. LB still chapped some Goldman hide now that things have calmed down a bit. Turns out it does.

Duff McDonald reports:

I was at a fairly large dinner party last Saturday night, and found myself sitting next to the wife of a Goldman partner. She later introduced me to her husband, whose ears perked up when I told him I’d written a biography of Dimon. “You know,” he said, “we scratch our heads at Goldman every day about that guy. He can be a much bigger bully in the markets than we are, but everyone still thinks he’s a prince and [Goldman CEO] Lloyd Blankfein is the devil.”

Seriously, what is it? It can’t be all looks because Jamie, while, yes, quite boyishly handsome, doesn’t have the Lloyd Grin. Is it the hair? It’s the hair, isn’t it. If that’s the case, you should all know LB’s actually got lots of it, he just chose to start covering it with makeup a la Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder a number of years back because he thought he had to to make CEO, as the pates of those who came before him would suggest. You want hair, he’ll give you hair.

How Much Does It Suck To Be Jamie Dimon These Days [Fortune]



Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Bill Clinton Thinks Jamie Dimon Should Get Into Politics

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“If he decides to get out of banking, I think he would be really good in politics,” Bubba told Reuters (in perhaps the first ever profile to be somewhat critical of the JPMorgan CEO). On retirement prospects, JD said he couldn’t see himself teaching full time but does “get a kick out of” going to Harvard Business School from time to time to give lectures, which is something he could easily do while managing his bar and grill. [Reuters]



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Jamie Dimon Is Sick Of People Expecting Bankers To Take It Up The Tailpipe

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Mr. Dimon insisted that he was not against banking regulation, just irrational regulation. He also said it was unfair to criticize banks for trying to block new rules they did not like. “To say we’re supposed to bend down and take it, that’s wrong,” Mr. Dimon said. [Dealbook]



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Dimon And Blankfein: Who Wore It Better?

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Tux twins Jamie Dimon and Lloyd Blankfein at last night’s State Dinner. [Politico]



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Jamie Dimon: “America Will Get Its Mojo Back”

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“Sooner rather than later I hope,” James told Maria Bartiromo. Also! Credit where credit is due: “Nothing is worse than it was a year ago.”



Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Obama Names JPMorgan’s William Daley Chief Of Staff

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This is what it’s about, people. Mending fences, not just between the White House and the business community but two former bros, neither of which want to be the one to make the first step towards rekindling what they had.

Former Commerce Secretary William Daley has been chosen by President Obama to become his chief of staff, according to media reports Thursday. Daley, who currently serves as Midwest chairman at J.P. Morgan Chase, will succeed Rahm Emanuel, who left in October to pursue the mayoral office in Chicago.

[via MarketWatch



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It’s iPad Day At JPMorgan!

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Last month, JPMorgan announced it would be giving out free iPads to all investment banking associates. After almost three weeks of waiting to blast out mass emails with a “sent from my iPad” signature, iPad Day has finally come.

Apparently the devices were distributed this morning and the whole scene was “very Christmas morning-esque.” Huge smiles, shouts of glee, everyone in their PJs. Only disappointment was that the ‘Pads were not passed out by Jamie Dimon, from a giant sack, as he asked his employees who’s been naughty and who’s been nice- something to consider when analysts/VP’s get their due.



Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Jamie Dimon Is A Mama Bear

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As anyone who’s ever been enveloped in a Jamie Dimon hug knows, when you’re with James, you’re safe. Yes, he can be demanding and yes, he expects a lot from people and yes, if you fail to deliver, you’re going to be held accountable and no, he’s not here to coddle you. But the trade off is that Jamie Dimon protects his cubs. Come near one of them, threaten them in anyway and he’ll scratch your eyes out.

Where did this instinct come from? Birth, likely, and then honed from an early age, when Dimon would “stand up to bullies who threatened his smaller twin,” Teddy. These days he still looks out for Ted, in addition to his three biological daughters, and his approximately 230,000 adopted children. The boys and girls of JPMorgan.

Dimon has a reputation as a cost cutter; it’s a term he hates and one that obscures his protective feeling toward the organization. Linda Bammann, who served a stint as deputy chief risk officer, recalls that when he hired her, he took her to dinner and said: “Every single person in this firm is our responsibility. If we ever have to lay people off, it’s because we haven’t done a good job.” No one would call Dimon cuddly: he is profane, snappish and sparing with praise. What comes through, according to a large sampling of colleagues, is his passion for the organization. His wife’s word for him is “maternal.”

Jamie Dimon: America’s Least Hated Banker [NYT]



Article courtesy of Dealbreaker