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And:

[Twitter.com/JimCramer via NYO]

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Lenny Dykstra, who has weathered the storms of scandal himself over the years, but is quick to heap praise on his friend, insisted in an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com that “Charlie is a rock star, he’s perfect, and he’s a f**king genius.”

Dykstra was a guest at Sheen’s major league baseball gathering at his million dollar mansion in Los Angeles last Friday. The Two And A Half Men star had an impressive guest list that included SF Giants pitcher Brian “The Beard” Wilson, Kenny Lofton, Todd Zeile, and Eddie Murray. The athletes all joined Sheen for a private screening of his classic baseball flick Major League.

“I went to his house for the party and it was great!” Dykstra told RadarOnline.com, going on to share that “Charlie is sober and is doing really good.”

In related news, Dykstra also told Radar that he and Chuck are hanging out again this week, when they go house hunting in Beverly Hills for Nails’ new pad.

Charlie Sheen Is A Rock Star [Radar via Deadspin

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Former pro baseball player Lenny Dykstra’s housekeeper has accused him of sexual assault, according to records…the female housekeeper alleged Dykstra would force her to give him oral sex on Saturdays.

No stranger to sexually harassing members of his staff (in 1999 Dykstra was arrested for that sort of thing with a 17-year-old female who worked at his car wash), we wondered if this news would threaten Nails’ comeback, and if it was a harbinger of worse things to come. However, prosecutors have apparently decided not to file charges, “because of an apparent lack of evidence that the activity was forced.” Here’s what LD had to say about the matter:

In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Dykstra denied the allegations, saying the woman was trying to extort him to buy drugs. “If she was assaulted on Saturdays, then I’m a … ballerina dancer on Sundays,” Dykstra said. “This is a maid. That’s not even worth commenting on, are you kidding me?”

Lenny Dykstra Accused Of Sexual Assault, No Charges Filed [LATimes]

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[via TBP]
And not that anyone asked, but for his part, Mark Haines would like it to be known he goes commando at all times.

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I’m asking because apparently Geoffrey Raymond, the preeminent artist of our time, is selling the above for $40,000. If you’re interested but need to see it up close before writing a check, Raymond is displaying it right now in front of the NYSE. In related news, who here pictured JC having that much chest hair? I personally never gave it much thought but now confronted with the question I’d have to say yeah, he’s probably pretty rug-like. (Perhaps not so much as a result of genetics but one misguided summer as a lifeguard on Jones Beach, not realizing the consequences of taking a razor to his chest.)

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In March 2008, our boy, likely due to the brain damage inflicted by seeing how far he could push a Twizzler into his ear and not stopping when he felt resistance, just thought he need a little cash. Two-hundred and fifty thousand would probably do the trick, and as luck would have it, someone was offering him that exact amount!

In the late winter of 2008, an entrepreneur named Richard O’Connor, who had become Dykstra’s favored adviser, introduced him to Shannon Illingworth, the founder of a publicly traded company called Automated Vending Technologies, or AVT, and the two quickly cut a deal. O’Connor told me that on March 25, 2008, Illingworth gave Dykstra roughly $250,000 worth of AVT stock in exchange for plugging the company on Cramer’s website, TheStreet.com, and promising to provide a personal introduction to Cramer. O’Connor claims that Dykstra told him he knew the pay-to-plug arrangement was illegal. To avoid getting caught, O’Connor says, the former All-Star baseball player had a solution: “We can just put the stock in Keith’s name,” referring to his brother-in-law, Keith Peel.

And so it was done. O’Connor provided me copies of stock certificates showing that on March 25, 2008, Keith Peel was issued 250,000 shares of AVT stock, which traded at roughly $1 a share. “Keith didn’t know anything about it,” says O’Connor, maintaining that using Peel’s name was a way to stash the stock away from potential regulatory oversight. The shares were held at Dykstra’s mansion, which is where O’Connor retrieved them. Just two weeks later, on June 6, 2008, Dykstra offered his premium subscribers a curious “bonus” recommendation: a plain old penny stock named AVT, “which gives investors a lot of potential upside.” Dykstra droned on endlessly about the stock, with all the conviction of a prisoner of war extolling the cause of his captors for the cameras.

When I contacted him shortly before The Zeroes printed, AVT founder Illingworth admitted that he hired Dykstra as a consultant for his “relationships with TheStreet.com, Cramer,” and that the idea for Dykstra to tout his company’s stock was “mutual.” (Despite the certificates, Illingworth denied ever giving Dykstra or Peel $250,000 worth of stock; instead he claims the only money he gave to Dykstra was $15,000 to trade on his behalf, a sum that disappeared.)

O’Connor claims that Illingworth was angry that he didn’t get more plugs from Dykstra, or a meeting with Cramer. O’Connor also says while advising Dykstra in the first half of 2008, he saw multiple other offers from small company CEOs offering Dykstra cash in exchange for access to Cramer, though he does not know if Dykstra ever cashed in on those opportunities.

Lenny Dykstra Stock Scandal [TDB]

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LaBeouf in the April issue of GQ talked up the stock of an oil and natural gas exploration company that has yet to produce any of either. “IOC’s momentum is major, and it will surprise to the upside,” LaBeouf said in a text message to the GQ article’s author, Adam Sachs, using the trader lingo he apparently picked up while prepping for the film. The 23-year-old star of the “Transformers” franchise was referring to InterOil, a Canadian firm with the New York Stock Exchange ticker symbol IOC that says it’s searching for natural gas and oil in Papua New Guinea.

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