If you’ve been keeping up with your HBO original programming schedule, you know that Too Big To Fail, the movie based on Andrew Ross Sorkin’s 2009 book, airs next Monday evening. Last night was the premiere at the Museum of Modern Art and while the trailers looked promising, in order to make sure none of you wasted any of your precious time or DVR space in the event it wasn’t worth it, I attended to see how things turned out and report back. Warren Buffett did the same, though was initially met with some opposition at the door, in an encounter that went like this:

Door girls: Do you have your ticket?
Buffett: Uh…no…
Door girls: You need your tickets.
Buffett: Oh, uh…we were invited..
[One of Buffett's dates]: This is Warren Buffett.
[The group is seated]

Other people in attendance who did have their tickets, included but were not limited to: George Soros (with a entourage of lady friends), Meredith Whitney in a white pinstriped suit, Becky Quick, Rodgin Cohen, Regis Philbin, Michael Douglas and all the actors from the flick (William Hurt, Paul Giamatti, Billy Crudup, James Woods, Bill Pullman, Evan Handler, Tony Shalhoub, Matthew Modine, Ed Asner), though not all the real life people they portray (Jamie Dimon was getting ready for today’s JPM shareholder meeting in Ohio, Fuld was probably busy plotting his comeback).

The movie condenses Sorkin’s 539 page book into about 90 minutes and traces the slightly tense moments that were 2008 just after Bear Stearns was bought to the day Paulson locked the top bank CEO’s in a room and and forced them to accept his capital injections. William Hurt does a pretty badass Hank– who gets the most screen time by far– having spent a few days fishing with him in preparation for the role (during which one would hope HP described what it was like threatening to send Ken Lewis home in a body bag if he backed out of the Merrill Lynch deal). I liked it, you probably will too.** Now let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

Who Will Like TBTF

- Hank Paulson: The former Treasury Secretary is the lead role; the movie shows his sleepless nights, his afternoons spent vomiting, and his attempt to SAVE AMERICA, all without shotgunning just one beer or a single tablespoon of Pepto-Bismol like you know he wanted to but which Christian Science prohibits. The movie even gets into his bird fetish, opening with Paulson observing a majestic red tailed hawk outside his window.

- Tim Geithner: Who producers decided resembles Billy Crudup (who plays “freaked the fuck out” pretty well)

- Ben Bernanke: Paul Giamatti grew a beard and (adorable) jowls to play the Chairman of the Federal Reserve, which he mostly does from the shadows- in a poorly lit room where he and Paulson discuss the fact that the economy might collapse over breakfast or emerging from a corner, where he might as well be holding a flashlight under his chin as he informs Congress or the bank CEOs that they can 1. do what he and Paulson are telling them to do or 2. don’t and be responsible for a Depression worse than the one he studied at Princeton (his pump up speeches are some of the best parts of the movie)

- Jamie Dimon: Every time JD- played by Bill Pullman- appears on screen we’re told in one way or another that he’s the smart banker, the responsible banker, the King of the Bankers (**Dimon’s only gripe may be that Bill Pullman doesn’t entirely pull off the innate coolness, which isn’t his fault- Jamie was born this way and some things can’t be taught; it’d be like asking Pavarotti, “teach me to sing like you.”)

- Lloyd Blankfein: The Goldman CEO is described as “a superstar,” but more importantly, Evan Handler actually nails the various The Lloyd Face(s), which some of us (me) were very skeptical anyone could do

- John Mack: While Tony Shalhoub’s Southern accent is more of a cross between a Southern and Western accent, Mack’s character fares well and gets one of the funnier (fictional?) lines of the movie: “Great, here comes E-Harmony,” when Geithner is calling him about the idea to merge the investment banks with commercial banks.

- Vikram Pandit: If he can get past the “no one knows if he’s running Citi or Citi’s running him” line, and is ready to laugh about all this, the actor who plays him does justice to the scene in which Pandit turns down Lloyd.

- CNBC: The network financial crisis coverage is threaded throughout the movie with Erin Burnett, Maria Bartiromo and Steve Liesman getting the most shout-outs

- Christian Scientists: They ought to appreciate the scene in which Hank Paulson flushes the sleeping pills someone on his staff gave him, as a commitment to his faith.

- Andrew Ross Sorkin: Someone got a cameo

- The (Our) Lehman Coffee Cart Guy: Oh yeah, there’s a nice lingering shot of his setup.

People Who Will Not Like TBTF

- John Thain: If the (unintentionally hilariously) bad toupee on Matthew Modine doesn’t do it, the fact that he’s pointedly made to look like the world’s biggest prick in every scene he appears might do it (Thain is portrayed as “selfish” (Paulson/Hurt’s words), conniving and greedy, and arguably comes off worse than Fuld)

- Charlie Gasparino: Who is not featured in any of the CNBC footage

- People Who Are “Tim Geithner Can Go Fuck Himself” Purists: This group will likely not appreciate the rewrite of the line uttered by John Mack while trying to do a deal with Mitsubishi and being repeatedly called by Tim Geithner. In the movie, he tells his secretary to pass on the message, “Tell Geithner he can blow me”

Wildcard

- Warren Buffett: On the one hand, when discussed by other characters, the point is driven home that he’s The Most Important Banker/Elder Statesman/ What Have You in the world. On the other, Ed Asner is about 40 pounds heavier, looks like a slob throughout the movie and deploys no folksy business wisdom con aberrant sex fetish. On the third, Buffett said at the 4 Seasons party afterwards that he thought the movie/Ed were great (and that “he did an excellent job portraying such a glamorous guy”)

- Alan Greenspan: Probably proud of the mention (Paulson to Bernanke: “Greenspan suggested we buy up all the vacant houses and burn them down”) but miffed at not having the entire movie be about him and his reign as Grand High Poobah

- Chris Cox: Comes off as kind of a pussy/imbecile but perhaps he’ll appreciate the accuracy?

- Barney Frank: Totally at a loss for whether or not he’ll approve of the outside the box casting of Dan Hedaya.

- Dick Fuld: Hear me out on this one. Yes, the movie (accurately) depicts Dick Fuld thinking that everything at Lehman was all good in the hood, that the only problem was “the god damn shorts,” that Lehman, as late as August 2008, would “stand strong and eat Goldman’s lunch,” that he wouldn’t fuck up the potential deal with Korea Development Bank by coming in and making the case that Lehman’s real estate holdings had a lot of value. But Fuld is also portrayed as actually caring about the bank and it’s employees, in his own way (which, if he wanted to show he cared, shouldn’t have blown a hole in their balance sheet and done some other stuff but retrospect, etc). Plus, he gets to watch himself be played by James Woods and who wouldn’t like that?

- Blankfein Humor Scholars: These people will likely be divided in their opinion that LB’s quips are generally more of the more subtle variety than, when discussing Paulson’s failure to get the authority from the FSA to do the Barclays/Lehman deal, “He didn’t drop the ball- he dropped the ball, kicked the coach in the nuts and took a shit in the quarterback’s mouth”

**Although you might not like the closing captions which I think some of you should probably close your eyes for if you’ve got blood pressure/heart problems and which I want to mention so badly but I won’t so see it and then we can discuss.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

$$$ Facebook Busted in Clumsy Smear on Google (Daily Beast)

$$$ Dick Bove: Lloyd Blankfein’s Uncertain Future at Goldman (Fox Business)

$$$ Apollo earnings up, in first report since IPO (Reuters)

$$$ Glencore CEO Says Commodities Market Still Strong (CNBC)

$$$ Kyle Bass: ‘Greece Is Bankrupt’ and Will Restructure (CNBC)

$$$ Leucadia Said to Join Centerbridge in Bid for Citigroup Consumer-Loan Unit (Bloomberg)

$$$ Silver Lake Recruits Credit Suisse Banker Bryce Lee for Clean-Energy Fund (Bloomberg)

$$$ Initial Jobless Claims in U.S. Fell 44,000 Last Week (Bloomberg)

$$$ Foreclosures Fall To 40 Month Low — Due To Paperwork Delays, Not Recovery (HuffPo)

$$$ Oil Chiefs Lash Out Against Tax Proposal (NYT)

$$$ Regulators Defend Financial Revamp Efforts (WSJ)

$$$ Treasury expected to hold off on further GM stock sales until August at earliest (AP via WaPo)

$$$ Philip Morris CEO says it’s ‘not that hard‘ to quit cigarettes (LA Times)

$$$ Lindsay Lohan gets 120 days in theft of necklace (LA Times)

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

“I want people to know I have nothing against you personally,” Davis, 81, tells C.E.O. Lloyd C. Blankfein. “And you are not a bad looking guy.” She then gives Mr. Blankfein a free copy of her newsletter Highlights and Lowlights…Davis [later asks] Mr. Blankfein if his wife Laura was present. [Dealbook, earlier]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

As you may have heard, Goldman Sachs will hold its annual shareholder meeting tomorrow. Unlike the past 12 years, in which the event has been held in New York, Friday’s meeting will go down in the Garden State. The bank has not explained the move, and while it does have a building across the river, one would hope you’re not falling for that.

The real reason more than likely has little to do with real estate. Legitimate possibilities include:

a) Hoping the Sisters of Saint Francis, who are none too pleased about Goldman’s compensation practices and who GS is not at all scared of but is “calling around” to make sure no protests are planned, regard NJ as the 7th circle of hell and will stay away

b) Shareholder Evelyn Davis, who Lloyd recently had the balls to tell he didn’t care about her silly little newsletter enough to pay for it, has always said “Millionaires don’t go to New Jersey”

c) Matt Taibbi has a warrant out for his arrest there

d) Less opportunity for scrutiny of managing director Richard Kimball’s after party at Satin Dolls

e) Lucas van Praag is the world’s number one Real Housewives of New Jersey fan and convinced LB to move the meeting so 1) he could grab lunch with the guy who’s set to be this season’s breakout star:

(wait for the last 15 seconds)

…and 2) he can blame calling a reporter a “prostitution whore” on being inspired by a “when in Rome” situation

f) wildcard

At Goldman Meeting, Pay Is Likely To Rule The Day [WSJ]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

An letter to Albany:

April 28, 2011

New York has rich resources that position our state for continued success in the 21st century – a leading financial center, strong industry clusters, and renowned educational, research and cultural institutions. But major employers know that the single greatest asset New York has to offer is its ability to attract the best talent from around the world. This is crucial, because the size, quality and diversity of the talent pool are the first criteria for business in determining where to locate jobs.

To remain competitive, New York must continue to contend with other world cities to attract top talent. Increasingly, in an age where talent determines the economic winners, great states and cities must demonstrate a commitment to creating an open, healthy and equitable environment in which to live and work.

This is why it is so important that New York State grant full rights to all of its citizens by passing marriage equality. As other states, cities and countries across the world extend marriage rights regardless of sexual orientation, it will become increasingly difficult to recruit the best talent if New York cannot offer the same benefits and protections.

Many employers have adopted non-discrimination policies and extended domestic partner benefits long before most cities and states passed them into law. As New Yorkers and business leaders, we believe that attracting talent is key to our state’s economic future. We strongly urge New York State to enact marriage equality legislation to help maintain our competitive advantage in attracting the best and brightest people the world has to offer and to reaffirm our commitment to both freedom and fairness.

Candace K. Beinecke
Tom A. Bernstein
Lloyd C. Blankfein
Kevin Burke
Philippe P. Dauman
Daniel L. Doctoroff
Patrick C. Dunican, Jr.
Thomas Glocer
Jonathan N. Grayer
Klaus Kleinfeld
Rochelle B. Lazarus
Daniel S. Loeb
John J. Mack
Alan J. Patricof
Ronald O. Perelman
William C. Rudin
Kevin P. Ryan
Paul E. Singer
Jerry I. Speyer
Jes Staley
Stuart Match Suna
Kathryn S. Wylde
Strauss Zelnick
Mortimer B. Zuckerman

NY’s Business Leaders Want Marriage Equality, Too [Gothamist]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Sssssh. Don’t talk about trading.

The first quarter results released Tuesday by Goldman Sachs showed a 21 percent drop in net earnings from the year earlier—from $3.46 billion to $2.74 billion.

But the drop was less than Wall Street’s analysts expected—thanks in large part to strong results in bond and stock trading.

But far from crowing about its trading prowess, Goldman is keeping this fact very quiet. So quiet, actually, that the word “trading” doesn’t appear at all in its press release or accompanying materials.

Last year, Goldman’s quarterly results mentioned “trading” 9 times.

Back in 2006, trading was used 11 times in one quarter. Now the word has been vanquished.

This strange new silence might be an attempt by Goldman to at least appear to be complying with so-called “Volcker Rule” limits on the firm’s proprietary trading that were included in the Dodd-Frank financial reform law.

But just because Goldman is not talking about trading, doesn’t mean it is not trading.

Goldman’s equities traders brought in $1.054 billion in the first three months of the year, compared with just $847 million over the same period last year. That’s a whopping 24 percent growth of revenues.

The bond traders staged a dramatic recovery from the last quarter, when they brought in just $537 million of revenue. This quarter they garnered $1.024 billion—a 91 percent jump.

This boom in trading revenues is especially surprising because the first quarter of 2011 has been described by most market watchers as a “difficult” one for traders. Citigroup, Bank of America, and JP Morgan Chase all pointed to a tough trading environment.

Goldman—again—somehow—seems to have outsmarted the rest of Wall Street.

Many in the financial media have missed the booming trading. “Weak trading saps Goldman results,” a headline on the BBC read.

It was easy to miss because Goldman scrapped its business structure this year following the completion of its 8-month internal study of its business practices. Gone is the old category of “Trading and Principal Investment”—which once housed both client and proprietary trading. Now that is divided into two divisions—“Institutional Client Services” and “Investing and Lending.”

Institutional Client Services is where Goldman does its market making for clients. It is made up of both the market making activity once counted under Fixed Income, Currencies and Commodities and those under Securities Services. This division did indeed see revenue losses compared to a year ago due to lower trading volumes on behalf of clients—a drop of 28 percent for bonds, commodities and currencies, and 24 percent for stocks.

But both client bond-commodities-currencies and stock trading was up from the particularly ugly third quarter. Perhaps due to volatile commodities markets, income from market making for that section was up a stunning 164 percent from last quarter. Equities market making rose 24 percent from the first quarter.

It’s the “Investing & Lending” section, however, where Goldman’s in-house market expertise really shines. This is where the prop traders who dare not speak their names now reside. Overall, the hidden traders at Goldman saw revenue grow 36 percent from last quarter, and 37 percent from the first quarter of 2010.

Just don’t call them traders, OK?

Goldman’s Dirty Word [NetNet]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

A month ago, Charlie Gasparino reported that Lloyd Blankfein’s friends had told him LB was tired of the grind and mulling over stepping down as CEO of Goldman Sachs by the end of the 2011. Goldman denied the story and reassured the world that Lloyd would be with us for many years to come. Apparently these so-called friends, like Gasparino, who said the denial was merely proof that GS was lying to him, beg to differ and have continued to tell the press Lloyd is on the way out.

Most recently these pals have spoken to the Times, which notes:

Two friends of Mr. Blankfein, 56, say he has told them since last summer that he is exhausted from leading the company through the financial crisis and that he would consider stepping down when he could do so gracefully, without the move appearing to be anything but voluntary.

Possible candidates for Blankfein’s job include current president Gary Cohn, vice-chairmen Michael Evans and Michael Sherwood, the latter of which was recently named Gary Cohn’s successor as chairman of the partnership committee, as well as “more junior candidates” like David Solomon, co-head of investment banking, David Heller and Harvey Schwartz. Should these people start considering how they’ll redecorate the executive suite just yet? Goldman Sachs says no, because Blankfein’s going nowhere.

A spokesman for the firm, Lucas van Praag, declined to comment other than to note that Mr. Blankfein “says he has never felt so energetic and has no plans to retire.”

Rumors LB will, however, entertain, are that he’s accepting applications for new friends. If you think you’re up to the grueling interview process, put in a resume today.

3 Insiders Seen As Contenders To Lead Goldman [NYT]
Related: “[I] don’t know what’s worse, GS lying when I reported the same story last month, or NYTimes for failing to credit FBN“

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Goldman Sachs is “a financial snake pit rife with greed, conflicts of interest, and wrongdoing,” Levin told reporters today.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

In October 2009, the Benedictine Sisters of Mt. Angel, Oregon filed a shareholder resolution strongly suggesting the board of Goldman Sachs “review pay disparity” at the firm and “analyze the appropriateness of its spiraling pay packages.” It seems they were not satisfied with GS’s response (or lack thereof) and have once again demanded some introspection on the part of Lloyd and Co re compensation, this time with the support of their colleagues from the Boston and Philadelphia offices.

Goldman Sachs is facing a call from four leading orders of catholic nuns to review whether the pay awarded to chief executive Lloyd Blankfein and other top executives is excessive. The proposal will be put forward at the Wall Street bank’s annual general meeting next month by the orders, who own shares in Goldman, the bank revealed in a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission. The Sisters of Saint Joseph of Boston, the Sisters of Notre Dame de Namur, the Sisters of St. Francis of Philadelphia and the Benedictine Sisters of Mt. Angel want Goldman’s compensation committee to report back by the beginning of October.

Nuns Ask Goldman Sachs Whether They’re Really Worth $69.5 Million [Telegraph]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Every fall, previously in the basement of 85 Broad and more recently at 200 West, Goldman Sachs names a class of new partners. Blindfolded and naked, they pledge their devotion to the firm. To commemorate the event, and for the practical purpose of tagging them so their status at the firm can be quickly verified with one quick drop of trou, these newly-made partners have their nether regions dipped in a vat of gold, which harden while Lloyd Blankfein gives a speech about how to carry oneself differently once they reach the upper echelons of GS (literally, as those things will drag if you’re not careful). At the stroke of midnight, as a baby seal barks in the corner, they are inducted into the Brotherhood of the Sach. And while one is more than welcome to benefit, monetarily, from this new position, being a member of the Brotherhood is less about sharing in its huge ass profits than it is making sure the partnership stays long and strong. Some people, apparently, did not read that portion of the fine print.

Goldman Sachs partners have sold $108 million in shares in recent months, driving their total ownership stake in the Wall Street firm down to about 10 percent from 11.2 percent. The sales are a small yet significant dilution of the influence the partners have over the firm. Part of the power of the Goldman partnership is the stake they own collectively, and the agreement they have made to act in unison on shareholder votes. The next annual shareholder meeting has not been set, but it is typically held in May.

And while no one is keeping a list of names….a list is in fact being kept.

The top two sellers in the most recent period were Gregg Felton, a senior executive in the firm’s asset management division, who sold shares amounting to almost $8 million, and Philippe Altuzarra, a banker, who sold shares amounting to about $6 million.

No one should be worried that this going to reflect poorly on them. You are free to sell your shares as you please. And hey, everyone’s allowed (one) transgression! Keep it up though and don’t be surprised when you’re pulled from your desk one unseasonably chilly day next September and placed on a bus headed upstate, to a warehouse in Buffalo. Don’t be afraid of the the head of HR will come out of the shadows, wearing an executioner’s mask and swinging massive clippers. It’ll all be over soon enough.

Goldman Sachs Partners Sell Shares, Diluting Stake [Dealbook]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker