Senator Chuck Schumer just appeared on CNBC to discuss the Deutsche Boerse and NYSE Euronext deal. His thoughts? He likes it, assuming the New York name comes first, otherwise he’s going to handcuff himself to Maria Bartiromo’s desk until it happens.

Please know that this isn’t just vanity on Chuck’s part- he has reasons, three of them in fact, for why he’s right on this. They are:

1. NYSE first will reflect New York’s place as the financial capital center of the world

2. It will be better for the company

3. We need to lay down the law with these Germans right now. They need to know when you come into our house, you play by our rules!

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Unless producers have a new rule in which they encourage guests to measure female hosts’ waists and read the number aloud, especially when it’s higher than the one you just told people was the most she could be for that height.

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Are you ready? Surely Maria’s done her homework and prepared for this interview like any other, but in the event she’s looking for some last minute questions, any suggestions?

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$$$ Harry Wilson Calls Wall Street Background A Plus [NYT]

$$$ John Paulson Lowers Long-Term Bank Of America View [Forbes]

$$$ Fannie, Freddie Costs At Mercy Of Economy [WSJ]

$$$ Feinberg Says “Time Will Tell” If His TARP Remedies Worked [Bloomberg

$$$ Lehman Judge Says He Never Approved Final Documents in Sale of Brokerage [Bloomberg]

$$$ John’s Hopkins Business School For Anti-MBA’s [Fortune]

$$$ Confidential To Maria Bartiromo– if you’re looking to make a quick buck, sue these ladies for trademark infringement. [ABC]

$$$ “We found out by looking on the Internet that this is a multi-billionaire who runs a predatory hedge fund on Wall Street, like the hedge fund that tried to destroy the Coos Bay railroad, and he is personally financing Art Robinson’s media campaign on television to the tune of $100,000 a week,” DeFazio said of RenTec’s Bob Mercer. [NR]

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Clinton Bemoans Scant Hedge Fund Support For His Global Initiative (Bloomberg)
Clinton said he knew of only two hedge-fund firms represented at the Clinton Global Initiative annual meeting this year, which President Barack Obama will address today. He didn’t name the firms. “There should be more,” Clinton said in an interview on Bloomberg Television’s “Political Capital With Al Hunt.”

Macro Forces Stump Stock Pickers (WSJ)
More and more investors aren’t bothering to pore through corporate reports searching for gems and duds, but are trading big buckets of stocks, bonds and commodities based mainly on macro concerns. As a result, all kinds of stocks—good as well as bad—are moving more in lock step. “It’s unbelievably frustrating,” says Mr. Pedowitz, who helps manage $4.5 billion for wealthy clients and has 25 years of investing experience. “It’s enough to make you crazy.”

Cash Cameos: Wall Street Pays (NYP)
Jim Chanos, who plays himself in the movie and got a “Special Thanks” in the credits, told The Post he’s spending the standard acting fee he earned from the flick on “acting lessons, obviously.” When asked what he earned from his appearance he told The Post he received $1.24. Maria Bartiromo, who refused to disclose what she earned from her stint, isn’t blowing her appearance fee on champagne and caviar — or even a pepperoni pizza from Spumoni Gardens in her native Brooklyn. Bartiromo told The Post she’s sockin’ away the cash instead. “I’m a big believer in savings so when I receive the check it will just go in my savings account,” she said.

Congress Delays Tax Cut Battle Until After November Elections (Bloomberg)
“The reality is we’re not going to pass” the tax cuts before the election, Illinois Senator Richard Durbin, the chamber’s No. 2 Democrat, said yesterday. Blaming politics, he said, “We are so tightly wound up in this campaign” that Democrats and Republicans won’t be able to reach an agreement.

Blackstone Forecasts Return Of $10 Billion LBO (Reuters)
“We’ve had a recovery in the credit markets which has frankly been a bit surprising,” Vikrant Sawhney, senior managing director, told investors.

Volcker Spares No One In Broad Critique (WSJ)
“The financial system is broken. We can use that term in late 2008, and I think it’s fair to still use the term unfortunately. We know that parts of it are absolutely broken, like the mortgage market which only happens to be the most important part of our capital markets [and has] become a subsidiary of the U.S. government.”

Credit Suisse Commodities Unit Bolts (WSJ)
A senior global commodities trader at Credit Suisse Group AG is leading an eight-person team out of the bank to start a hedge fund backed by Blackstone Group LP, people familiar with the matter say. The planned spinout involves one of the biggest trading groups to leave Wall Street. The team is one of the first Blackstone has selected for startup funding since U.S. lawmakers in July passed sweeping legislation to curb so-called proprietary trading, or trading using banks’ capital rather than clients’ funds.

HSBC Chief To Exit In Shake-Up (WSJ)
Mr. Geoghegan will leave after an intense campaign to succeed departing Stephen Green as the London-based bank’s chairman, said people familiar with the matter. Instead, HSBC Chief Financial Officer Douglas Flint will become chairman and HSBC investment-banking head Stuart Gulliver will be CEO, these people said.

BlockBuster Chief Says He Will Evaluate ‘Every Single Store’ (Bloomberg)
LOL.

Wall Street Insiders Open Up For Money Never Sleeps (LATimes)
“When my name was invoked, sometimes it would strike fear into the hearts of the bankers,” Stone said. “Certainly Goldman Sachs and [JPMorgan] Chase were not in the market to talk to us.”

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If you are part of the on-air talent team at CNBC, you must write a book. It’s in the contract. The network knows the people want it and why deny the people the musings of these celebrated raconteurs? It’d border on criminal. David Faber and the Jabroni Pony’s tomes came out last year, Maria Bartiromo has done two in the last three months, we’re told Mark Haines is putting the finishing touches on his memoir, Let Me Tell You What I Really Think Of These People and the latest contribution to literature and understanding comes from Michelle Caruso-Cabrera. You may not know it but this woman has seen a lot in her years in the markets. The nightmare of ‘73-’74; the joys of being at the ground floor when JWM was gearing up the boys at Solly; the coke-fueled days riding the Nasdaq like a Thai hooker during the late ’90s, then riding it down. She was cutting her teeth trading EM bonds when most of you were crapping yellow, so maybe consider taking a listen.

This thing comes out October 5th but for those among us who can’t wait another second, why don’t we play a game of “guess what MCC is right about”? You start.

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Vanity Fair is out with its annual list of the 100 most influential people in the world. Last year, Lloyd Blankfein was named numba 1 stunna. This year, something interesting happened wherein he clocked in at dead last. One can’t help but feel as though VF is trying to send a message here. Well guess what, ladies? LCB doesn’t need your mocking pity. Maybe next year, he starts his own list. Also of interest to note in the way off disses is that missing from the list are Maria Bartiromo and Erin Burnett, who last year were deemed the 69th most influential, a position they shared, in addition to the Dollar Dominatrix, who was 86 and David Einhorn, who was 87. For the second year in a row, Steve Cohen and Ben Bernanke were left off because really, what have those guys ever done? Here’s who did get named:

11 Warren Buffett (4)

15 Larry Fink (6)

23 Lady Gaga

30 Jamie Dimon (9)

54 Gretchen Morgenson (with the note that: After being roughed up in one of Morgenson’s blistering accounts of A.I.G.’s demise (some of which she co-wrote with Louise Story), Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein compared the experience to being “waterboarded.”)

58 Jay-Z

69 Bill Gross

76 David Tepper

98 WANG CHUANFU (WB’s boy and possible successor)

100 Lloyd Blankfein (1)

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What’s this joyous news you hear?
Maria Bartiromo is being inducted into the Cable Hall of Fame Class of 2011! The CNBC anchor will be officially welcomed to the club in June of next year, and if you can’t make it to the ceremony for the acceptance speech, take heart– you’ll be able to visit her in the Hall of Fame’s Denver headquarters– fingers crossed for a wax statue. [ICN via BI]

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