Strauss-Kahn’s pals bid to pay off woman’s kin (NYP)
Friends of alleged hotel sex fiend Dominique Strauss-Kahn secretly contacted the accusing maid’s impoverished family, offering them money to make the case go away since they can’t reach her in protective custody, The Post has learned.

JPMorgan, UBS, Deutsche Bank to Face N.Y. Probe (Bloomberg)
JPMorgan Chase & Co., UBS AG and Deutsche Bank AG are being investigated as part of New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman’s expanded probe of mortgage securitization, according to a person familiar with the matter. Four bond insurers also were subpoenaed: Ambac Financial Group Inc., MBIA Inc., Syncora Holdings Ltd. and Assured Guaranty Ltd., according to the person, who couldn’t be identified because the probe isn’t public.

Moody’s warns 14 UK banks face downgrade (Telegraph)
“The reassessment is not driven by either a deterioration in the financial strength of the banking system or that of the government,” said Elisabeth Rudman, a Moody’s senior credit officer and lead analyst for a number of UK banks, on Tuesday. “It has been initiated in response to ongoing guidance from the UK authorities (the Bank of England, the Financial Services Authority and the Treasury) that banks that fail in the future should not expect capital injections from the public purse.”

Greek default could make others junk: Moody’s (Reuters)
Portugal and Ireland would be at risk of multi-notch credit downgrades, pushing their ratings into junk territory in the event of a default by Greece, Moody’s EMEA chief credit officer told Reuters on Tuesday.

French government says China backs Lagarde for IMF head (Reuters)
French Budget Minister and government spokesman Francois Baroin said on Tuesday that China supports Finance Minister Christine Lagarde as candidate to be the new head of the International Monetary Fund.

Goldman, Morgan Stanley Bullish on Commodities, Predict 20% Return on Oil (Bloomberg)
Goldman…boosted its 12- month prediction for Brent crude to $130 a barrel from $107, analysts led by Jeffrey Currie said in a report today. Morgan Stanley raised its Brent estimate by 20 percent to average $120 a barrel this year and by 24 percent to $130 in 2012, it said.

Steven Rattner: Valley’s euphoria is tech bubble version 1.5 (FT)
“Yet, just as Facebook and Google are viewed today as bullet-proof franchises, so was AOL viewed as impregnable in its day. Its more than 20m customers paid $19.95 a month in steadily recurring revenue for, among other things, early versions of e-mail, chat and networking. With the advent of the worldwide web, those subscribers were essentially paying for nothing more than slow-speed dial-up connections. As broadband access spread, the customers melted away. Today, AOL has a trading value of only $2bn.”

Morgan Stanley In Talks to Fund More Asian Hedge Funds Start-Ups This Year (Bloomberg)
The New York-based bank is helping negotiate several opportunities for investors to give money to new hedge funds for a share of their fee revenue and deals in which they will provide capital to expand assets across Asia, said Hugh Abdullah, its Hong Kong-based head of capital introductions in the region.

Goldman Sachs cuts China, Asia growth forecasts (MarketWatch)
Goldman Sachs Group Inc. on Tuesday cut its growth forecast for China and predicted inflation will accelerate, citing the impact of higher oil prices and supply-side constraints on the world’s second-largest economy. In addition the bank lowered its outlook for the Asia region, excluding Japan.

SEC Deepens Probe of Forex Trading (WSJ)
At issue is whether “custody” banks—which handle securities and back-office tasks for institutional investors—are overcharging public pension funds for trading in the $4 trillion-a-day foreign-exchange market…A whistleblower group led by investor Harry Markopolos has sued BNY Mellon in Virginia and Florida, and rival State Street in California, accusing them of improperly pricing currency trades for state and local pension funds.

Feds diss banks’ lowball $5B offer (NYP)
State attorneys general and federal agencies found an offer of $5 billion from five banks “woefully inadequate,” according to a person familiar with the talks. Bank of America, JPMorgan Chase, Citigroup , Wells Fargo and Ally Financial made that offer two weeks ago. The amount was a far cry from the $20 billion the states and federal agencies had been discussing, although not formally proposing.

Call for Lehman creditors to reveal positions (FT)
A group of hedge funds and pension funds opposing the Lehman estate’s bankruptcy plan has asked the court to force many Lehman Brothers creditors – including banks such as Goldman Sachs – to reveal their current holdings of the defunct investment bank’s debts. The so-called Ad Hoc group of creditors, which includes hedge fund Paulson & Co, bond fund Pimco, and the Calpers retirement fund, were themselves compelled by the court, at the behest of Lehman, to disclose their holdings in March after they filed their own plan of organisation.

Goldman Finding Third Time a Charm in Russia (Bloomberg)
Goldman Sachs Group Inc. is making a third attempt in 17 years to crack the Russian market, this time by leveraging a $1 billion private-equity bet to win deals and wooing the Kremlin for roles in asset sales.

Volcanic Ash Forces Flight Cancellations in Europe (NYT)
“About 250 flights have already been canceled, mostly over Scotland” Kyla Evans, a spokeswoman for Eurocontrol, the Brussels-based agency that coordinates air traffic management across the region, said. “We would expect up to 500 flights to be canceled today. But it would very much depend on how the ash cloud moves, it could be many more or less.”

Radio host says Rapture actually coming in October (AP via USA Today)
[California preacher Harold] Camping, who predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday before the Earth was destroyed, said he felt so terrible when his doomsday prediction did not come true that he left home and took refuge in a motel with his wife. His independent ministry, Family Radio International, spent millions — some of it from donations made by followers — on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the Judgment Day message. But Camping said that he’s now realized the apocalypse will come five months after May 21, the original date he predicted. He had earlier said Oct. 21 was when the globe would be consumed by a fireball.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

The Don has announced the lure of the White House is not great enough to make him give up his biggest passion just yet (but watch out 2016).

After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency. This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country. I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election. I have spent the past several months unofficially campaigning and recognize that running for public office cannot be done half heartedly. Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector.

I want to personally thank the millions of Americans who have joined the various Trump grassroots movements and written me letters and e-mails encouraging me to run. My gratitude for your faith and trust in me could never be expressed properly in words. So, I make you this promise: that I will continue to voice my opinions loudly and help to shape our politician’s thoughts. My ability to bring important economic and foreign policy issues to the forefront of the national dialogue is perhaps my greatest asset and one of the most valuable services I can provide to this country. I will continue to push our President and the country’s policy makers to address the dire challenges arising from our unsustainable debt structure and increasing lack of global competitiveness. Issues, including getting tough on China and other countries that are methodically and systematically taking advantage of the United States, were seldom mentioned before I brought them to the forefront of the country’s conversation. They are now being debated vigorously. I will also continue to push for job creation, an initiative that should be this country’s top priority and something that I know a lot about. I will not shy away from expressing the opinions that so many of you share yet don’t have a medium through which to articulate.

I look forward to supporting the candidate who is the most qualified to help us tackle our country’s most important issues and am hopeful that, when this person emerges, he or she will have the courage to take on the challenges of the Office and be the agent of change that this country so desperately needs

Thank you and God Bless America!

Donald J. Trump

So many emotions, so many feelings, so many unanswered questions come to mind at this time. Chief among them being:

1) Who will Gary Busey throw his support to now, after his endorsement (and acronym/slogan/Buseyism: T(aking) R(edirection), U(nderstanding) M(assive) P(ower)) has been wasted?

2) WHO WILL TELL THE CHINESE, “Listen you motherfuckers, we’re going to tax you 25 percent“?!

Trump Not Running for President: ‘Decision Does Not Come Easily Or Without Regret’ [ABC]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Next Up: A Crackdown on Outside-Expert Firms (DealBook)
With the government securing a conviction against Raj Rajaratnam of the Galleon Group on Wednesday, federal prosecutors will shift their focus to expert networks — the intricate web of money managers, corporate executives and consultants at the center of another wave of insider trading cases.

Goldman Sachs Viewed Unfavorably by 54% (Bloomberg)
The company was viewed less favorably than other banks by the 1,263 poll respondents. While 54 percent said they had an unfavorable view of Goldman Sachs, 25 percent felt the same about JPMorgan, 49 percent for Citigroup Inc. (C) and 48 percent for Bank of America Corp. (BAC) Thirty-five percent had an unfavorable view of Frankfurt-based Deutsche Bank AG (DBK), which was also singled out in the U.S. Senate subcommittee report.

AIG Share Sale Starts But Could Be Pulled (WSJ)
The stock offering commenced Wednesday following lengthy discussions between Treasury and AIG’s management and directors about what they want to achieve from the share sales…Following the discussions, the Treasury and AIG are now in alignment about how to proceed with the offering, and they won’t sell shares if taxpayers don’t earn a profit now and in the future on the sales, according to people familiar with the matter. In other words, if they don’t get the price they want, Treasury will “pull the deal,” said one of the people.

Glencore Said to Gain Double Orders for IPO (Bloomberg)
Glencore International Plc received enough demand from investors for its $11 billion initial public offering to sell the shares more than twice over, according to three people with knowledge of the matter. Highbridge Capital Management LLC, a hedge fund owned by JPMorgan Chase & Co., proposed a $500 million investment, said one of the people, who declined to be identified because the information isn’t yet public. The last orders for the offer are due on May 18, with final pricing to be disclosed the following day, according to a term sheet for the sale.

Exit interview: Kobe Bryant says Lakers’ failed title run was a ‘wasted year of my life’ (LA Times)
Kobe Bryant is never much for sentimentality, and he’s not going to change any time soon. So when he reflected Wednesday on the Lakers’ underachieving 2010-2011 season, which included being swept in a Western Conference semifinal series, Bryant didn’t mince words on his disappointment.

China hikes reserve requirement ratio for banks (MarketWatch)
The People’s Bank of China lifted the ratio of funds domestic banks must set aside as reserves on Thursday, the fifth such hike this year amid persistent inflation concerns. From Monday the reserve requirement ratio will be increased 0.5-percentage point, bringing the rate to 21% for most big banks and 19% for smaller banks.

Copper tumbles to 5-month low on growth blues (Reuters)
Copper tumbled to a five-month through on Thursday as investors headed for the exit, fearing slower economic growth and demand from top consumers China and the United States. Also weighing on sentiment was the stronger dollar .DXY across a basket of currencies, which makes commodities priced in dollars more expensive for holders of other currencies.

SEC Investigating State Street Foreign Exchange (WSJ)
The Securities and Exchange Commission is investigating State Street Corp.’s foreign-exchange trading on behalf of pension funds in a sign that law-enforcement probes into how custody banks process tens of thousands of foreign-exchange trades are widening.

Draghi to Take Helm at ECB in November (Bloomberg)
[Italy’s Mario] Draghi, 63, will on Nov. 1 inherit an ECB that’s almost unrecognizable from the one Jean-Claude Trichet took charge of eight years ago. The bank’s balance sheet has more than doubled to 1.9 trillion euros ($2.7 trillion), mostly as a result of the extraordinary measures it used to battle the global financial crisis and now Europe’s sovereign debt woes…[German Chancellor Angela] Merkel made clear she’s backing the Bank of Italy governor in the expectation he will subscribe to the tight-money tradition of the Bundesbank, which provided the blueprint for the ECB when it was created 1998.

Bill Proposes Mortgage Shake-Up (WSJ)
Two lawmakers, a California Republican and a Michigan Democrat, are set to unveil legislation Thursday to replace mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac with at least five private companies that would issue mortgage-backed securities with explicit federal guarantees… Like Fannie and Freddie, the new entities would be restricted to buying loans that meet certain standards, including size caps. But the firms would have to hold much more capital than Fannie and Freddie.

Goldman, Beijing Launch Yuan Private-Equity Fund (WSJ)
Goldman Sachs Group Inc. has signed a deal with the Beijing government to launch a yuan-denominated private-equity fund that aims to raise 5 billion yuan ($769 million), according to a person familiar with the situation.

Morgan Stanley to Announce Private-Equity Yuan Fund (WSJ)
Morgan Stanley is expected to announce details of a yuan-denominated private equity fund in Hangzhou next week, according to a person familiar with the matter. The Wall Street firm will be running the fund in a partnership with Hangzhou Industrial & Commercial Trust Co., the person said. It wasn’t immediately clear how much the fund expected to raise.

China growth could slow to 8 percent: Goldman’s O’Neill says (Reuters)
“It is my judgment that the Chinese economy is probably slowing down more than people realize,” [O'Neill, Chairman of Goldman Sachs Asset Management] said, adding that as a result, he was not surprised that commodity prices are coming under pressure. As evidence, he cited the Goldman Sachs China Activity Index, the firm’s propriperary indicator of GDP, which shows that the momentum of Chinese growth has slowed, and that slowdown was supported by economic data reported this week. “And I suspect that China is going to slow down to around 8 pct GDP growth. If I’m right, that means sometime in the 2nd half this year, Chinese inflation will not be a problem, and will come back down to around 4 percent,” he said. “And the PBOC will be able to stop tightening monetary policy and we can all live happily ever after.”

UBS: Basel Rules Leave Banks Overcapitalized (WSJ)
Banks will likely have too much cash by 2019 as a result of the Basel III global banking rules, UBS AG Chief Executive Oswald Grübel said Thursday. “In the next 10 years, at the end of 2019, we will have overly liquid, overcapitalized banks,” said Mr. Grübel, who was addressing a business audience at a conference here. “However this also means we won’t have a lot of growth,” he said.

MIT sells $750m of century bonds (FT)

The Massachusetts Institute of Technology is planning to sell 100-year bonds as the recent drop in interest rates draws a flood of bond issuance this week.

In Exquisite Detail, Donald Trump Describes How He Styles His Hair (Rolling Stone via Vanity Fair Daily)
“O.K., what I do is, wash it with Head and Shoulders. I don’t dry it, though. I let it dry by itself. It takes about an hour. O.K., so I’ve done all that. I then comb my hair. Yes, I do use a comb. Do I comb it forward? No, I don’t comb it forward. I actually don’t have a bad hairline. When you think about it, it’s not bad. I mean, I get a lot of credit for comb-overs. But it’s not really a comb-over. It’s sort of a little bit forward and back. I’ve combed it the same way for years. Same thing, every time.”

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Earlier this morning, Raj Rajaratnam was found guilty on 9 counts on insider trading and 5 counts of conspiracy. He is probably not in the best of moods right now, as he may be going away to a place that doesn’t give you extra mayo on the side of your tuna sandwich, for nearly 20 years. But there is some good news, which is that someone will most likely make a movie about this whole thing. To give producers a jump start, we will start the casting process now.

The following roles need to be filled:

* Raj Rajaratnam- The Guy

* Danielle Chiesi- The Girl who reels in tips with her fishnet stockings

* Anil Kumar- The McKinsey guy who faithfully provided Raj with inside info

* Rajat Gupta- The Goldman board member

* Bob Moffat- The IBM exec who cried over Danielle Chiesi in public at least three time, and then promised to never open his heart to a woman other than his wife again

* The Dwarf- The little person who was hired by Raj as an April Fool’s Day joke, and introduced to employees as a new analyst brought on to cover “small-cap” stocks

* Keryn Limmer- The Galleon analyst who Raj paid $5,000 to be tased when execs from stun-gun maker Taser International came to make a pitch in 2005 (“Employees gathered around as two people propped up trader Keryn Limmer at the elbows and another person fired the weapon. Ms. Limmer’s legs buckled beneath her from the shock”)

* The Idiot Analyst- The Galleon Group analyst who was called an ‘idiot’ by Raj for questioning the hedge fund manager’s inside information about Goldman Sachs, given to him by a board member

* The Spandex Analyst- The Galleon junior female analyst Raj told to buy a spandex outfit from Lululemon, wear it to the firm’s morning meeting and “walk back and forth on top of the conference table” while Raj commented that “few consumers would pay so much money for the expensive outfit in a recession”

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Unlike some people who lack the stomachs, this fund is sticking to its oil positions.

Greg Zuckerman reports:

BlueGold, a $2.4 billion London-based fund, has suffered losses of about 20%, or nearly $500 million, so far this month, according to someone close to the matter.

Bets on rising oil prices were behind the losses. The downturn is the worst ever for the firm, which launched in February 2008. Despite the upheaval, BlueGold, led by Pierre Andurand, is exiting few positions, according to someone close to the matter.

Taylor Woods, launched in February by former commodities traders at Credit Suisse Group AG, including George “Beau” Taylor, exited oil trades early last week when the price drops were less pronounced, according to a person familiar with the matter. It ended last week down less than one-tenth of 1%, the person said.

Oil Bull Loses 20% But Keeps Charging [WSJ via BI]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Goldman BRIC Fund Among Most Hurt in ‘Panic’ Commodities Selling (Bloomberg)
The $831 million Goldman Sachs BRIC Fund (GBRAX) and the $825 million Templeton BRIC Fund (TABRX), which focus on Brazil, China, India and Russia, both fell 5.7 percent in the week ended yesterday. The funds, from New York-based Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and San Mateo, California’s Franklin Resources Inc., lost the most among diversified equity funds with more than $500 million in assets and at least 20 percent in energy or basic materials stocks, according to data compiled by Bloomberg.

Glencore IPO Orders Continue To Roll In (WSJ)
Glencore on Wednesday set the price range for the offer at 480 pence to 580 pence, valuing it at around $61 billion, including the new money being raised. Around $10 billion in shares will be sold, plus a $1 billion overallotment. Most of the offer is in the form of new shares. Bankers said the order book was covered after the first day of subscriptions. One on Friday said a “material” amount of orders were added to the total on Thursday, even as oil and silver prices slid sharply.

Paulson’s Biggest Fund Said to Be Down in 2011 After April Gain (SFGate/Bloomberg)
Paulson’s Advantage Plus Fund, which uses strategies designed to profit from corporate events such as takeovers and bankruptcies, is down 1.7 percent in 2011 after gaining 0.1 percent last month, said the person, who asked not to be identified because the returns are private. The fund’s gold- denominated share class rose 6.3 percent in April and 4.9 percent this year.

Bank of America Had Positive Trading Revenue Every Day of First Quarter (Bloomberg)
Trading-related revenue was positive every day and exceeded $25 million on 98 percent of days during the year’s first three months, the Charlotte, North Carolina-based lender said today in a filing with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. In 2010, it had gains on 90 percent of trading days, with perfect records in that year’s first and third quarters, according to previous filings.

AIG quarterly net income drops 85% (MarketWatch)
First-quarter net income attributable to AIG was $269 million, compared with $1.8 billion a year earlier, the company said. On a per-share basis, AIG reported a net loss of 35 cents, versus a profit of $2.66 a share in the first quarter of 2010…AIG expected to make 34 cents a share, according to a FactSet survey of three analysts. A Thomson Reuters survey of three analysts came up with a consensus estimate of a loss of 15 cents a share.

JPMorgan Chase Said to Be Subpoenaed by SEC Over Mortgage Debt Documents (Bloomberg)
JPMorgan received a subpoena from the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission over failed mortgages, a person familiar with the investigation said, as the agency probes banks including Credit Suisse Group AG for allegedly failing to share refunds from sellers of faulty debt.

RBS core operating profit jumps 25 pct (Reuters)
RBS, which is majority-owned by the British government, made a first quarter loss of 528 million pounds ($841.5 million) after it racked up 1.3 billion pounds in bad debts at Ulster Bank… RBS said Irish loan losses would stay high this quarter before “gradually declining” in the second half of the year. The bank’s core business – namely its main retail and investment banking arms and excluding its insurance unit which is due to be sold off or floated on the stock market in 2012 – had an operating profit of about 2 billion pounds a quarter.

Schumer Tilts Toward Offer by Germans for Big Board (WSJ)
Chuck Schumer, a New York Democrat, remains publicly neutral on the competing proposals: a roughly $10 billion bid from Deutsche Börse AG, which agreed in February to buy NYSE Euronext, and a hostile, $11 billion offer from Nasdaq OMX Group Inc. and IntercontinentalExchange Inc.  But Mr. Schumer is favoring the German deal as the best way to protect New York, according to the people who have spoken with him. Mr. Schumer focuses on the question so much that he tracks the number of Bloomberg terminals sold in major financial capitals.

Coffee, Sex, Blowing Nose May Increase Risk of a Stroke, Dutch Study Finds (Bloomberg)
Researchers from University Medical Center in Utrecht, the Netherlands, analyzed 250 patients who survived such a stroke and identified eight risk factors tied to the event. They included drinking a cup of coffee, which carried the highest risk, having sex, physical exercise, nose blowing, straining to defecate, drinking cola and being startled or angry.

Carlyle faces questions over China investments (FT)
Carlyle, the US private equity group, is facing questions over its investments in two Chinese companies that have been accused of fraud and suspended from trading on stock exchanges in Hong Kong and New York. The scrutiny comes at an unwelcome time for Carlyle, as the manager of some $106bn in funds seeks to burnish its reputation ahead of a planned initial public offering. China Forestry, a Hong Kong-listed plantation operator in which Carlyle has an 11 per cent stake, and China Agritech, a Nasdaq-listed fertiliser maker in which Carlyle has a 22 per cent stake, have both had their shares suspended from trading in recent months.

CME launches London clearing house (FT)
CME Group is considering offering clearing services to exchanges in Europe as the largest US futures exchange establishes a beachhead in the region by launching a new clearing house in London on Friday.
The move into clearing in Europe highlights the Chicago-based operator’s ambitions to expand into Europe, where CME’s two biggest rivals, IntercontinentalExchange (ICE) and Deutsche Börse, have established clearing businesses.

US Lawmaker Wants To Require Whistleblowers To Report Internally (DJ via WSJ)
A U.S. House Republican lawmaker plans to introduce legislation that would require whistleblowers to report wrongdoing to their employer to be eligible for a Securities and Exchange Commission bounty program, Dow Jones reported.

Indonesia Imposes More Sanctions on Citigroup (WSJ)
Bank Indonesia on Friday announced a raft of additional sanctions against Citigroup Inc. as investigations continue into the alleged embezzlement of millions of dollars and the death of a debtor…[Bank Indonesia Deputy Governor Budi] Rochadi said, the central bank imposed a number of restrictions on Citi’s operations in Indonesia, including a one-year ban on the local unit signing new clients to its Citigold wealth-management unit and a two-year ban on it issuing new credit cards. The central bank also forbade Citi’s local unit from opening new branches in Indonesia for one year and imposed an offshore travel ban on some of the unit’s executives, effective from Friday, while investigations continue.

Allen Stanford Indicted Again as Prosecutors Drop 7 of 21 Criminal Charges (Bloomberg)
The original indictment contained 21 criminal counts. The new one contains 14, including conspiracy to commit money laundering, obstruction of a U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission investigation, wire fraud and mail fraud. Two wire-fraud counts were dropped as were five mail-fraud charges. Stanford, 61, still faces five of each count, conviction for any one of which could result in a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison.

A wide-open Derby field of odds (USA Today)
With so many unknowns among local 3-year-olds, it might pay to take a chance on Master of Hounds, a new face shipping in from afar — Ireland, via Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. Trained by perpetual Irish champion Aiden O’Brien and owned by the imposing Coolmore partnership, Master of Hounds has never raced on dirt, but the same can be said for several other leading Derby contenders. Bred to stay every yard of the 1¼-mile Derby distance, Master of Hounds was beaten by a nose in his last start, the UAE Derby run on a synthetic surface in March. Master of Hounds stalked the leaders, burst to the front in the stretch and was just caught after battling gamely all the way to the finish.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

He may be down and out, but this man spotted near the 405 has not lost his spark. Based on this photo alone, I already know he has a better sense of humor than most. Now, I’m not saying he didn’t sleep with Lindsay, so this isn’t about irony. This guy is ahead of the curve and using it as a call for sympathy from the masses. Everyone knows engaging in that sort of thing with her is a fast track to misery and compromised physical/mental health. Just look at Wilmer Valderrama. Read the full story

Or, alternatively, that they’re free to leave but not then allowed to come back? According to John Carney, yes.

At least four Goldman Sachs executives flew into Japan last week to speak with nervous ex-pat employees about radiation fears, according to a person familiar with the situation. They also conveyed another message: don’t leave Japan and don’t leave Tokyo. Employees at the investment bank’s Japan offices are worried about radiation levels affecting their families, the person said. Many were asking if they could temporarily relocate out of the country or perhaps move to a location in southern Japan, farther away from troubled nuclear power plants. The were told that they should not leave Tokyo, according to the person.

Several meetings were held last week between senior Goldman executives and Tokyo-based employees. At least one meeting was held in a large conference room on one of the five floors of the Mori Tower in Tokyo, which houses Goldman’s offices in Japan…”The message was clear: no one is to leave. If you do leave, you can’t come back and expect to still work for Goldman,” the person said.

Goldman Sachs Told Employees Not To Leave Japan [NetNet]

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

As we reported last week, when the earthquake hit, JPMorgan CEO James Dimon did not think twice about booking a flight to Japan to visit with employees and clients affected by the disaster. He arrived yesterday and, hearteningly, seems to have breathed new life into the area with his mere presence, lifting the spirits of those who were badly in need of a pick-me-up. Dimon offered “a silent prayer” for the victims of the ‘quake and delivered a “short but moving” speech to a sizable crowd, who was extremely happy to see him. “As part of the staff based in Japan, I was really encouraged by his visit,” a person at the bank told the Journal. As for what happened next, we don’t want to scare anyone but all Park Ave-based employees should be taking careful notes.

According to one person, snaking lines formed around the smiling CEO as people waited to get a photo with Mr. Dimon, who became a legend for steering the bank through the global financial crisis. The photo session went on for about two hours in the evening.

“It was almost like he was a Japanese pop idol,” the person said. Mr. Dimon also appeared on the trading floors to mingle with his staff earlier this morning.

While JPMorgan employees at home surely respect JD and perhaps even still get butterflies in their stomachs when glimpsing him in the building, few if any whip out a pitchbook or a breast for Dimon to sign. And one can’t but wonder if the contrast between how he was received in Tokyo and the reception he receives at home will stick out in his mind. If you’re at 270 and feel silly worrying, yet can’t get the idea out of your head that maybe JD will decide to relocate and abandon you, start thinking about what you can do to make him feel as loved as your counterparts in Japan. Sending him a care package while he’s gone with (photoshopped) pictures of you to remind him of your face would be a good jumping off point, as would slipping that you paid his hairdresser for snippets of those luscious locks, and asking him to be a sperm donor for your future child.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

Gang, something serious just happened during the Lloyd Blankfein Day of the Raj Rajaratnam insider trading trial. Someone needs to be removed from the court immediately and if the judge won’t do anything about it, we will. We’e not talking about Raj, or his 700 lawyers or the prosecution or Lloyd. We’re talking about the person responsible for THIS:

In what universe does that look like LB? This illustrator needs to be remanded without bail, markers confiscated.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker