Uncle Vikula, who just started receiving a salary in January after choosing to make $1 a year until Citi turned a profit, may now be eligible for a very exciting three-part bonus.

Mr. Pandit will receive $10 million in deferred stock in three equal installments starting in 2013, provided the New York bank hits certain financial, organizational and staff development goals. He will receive $6.65 million in profit sharing if Citigroup hits a certain income target, paid in two installments starting in 2013. And he will receive 500,000 stock options vesting over three years beginning in May 2012.

[WSJ]

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If you know anyone who’s interested.

On a recent Friday morning, Jessi Bartoletti arrived at the Sunsport Gardens Nudist Resort here in a T-shirt and shorts. By evening, the 19-year-old had stripped down to a string of purple Mardi Gras beads and was dancing around a bonfire with about 200 young nudists, many of them first-timers. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this free,” Ms. Bartoletti yelled over pounding drums. That’s good news to the nudist resort industry, which is desperate for young nudists like Ms. Bartoletti to augment its clientele of graying baby boomers.

Membership in the two big nudist umbrella groups has been flat or declining for years, prompting a youth-recruitment effort that includes reverse-strip-poker nights, volleyball tournaments, naked 5K road races and music festivals like Nudepalooza and Nudestock. One new group, Young Nudists and Naturists of America, this month is having a naked dinner party in a loft in New York’s financial district to recruit members.

If you don’t subscribe to Vikram Pandit’s “Never Nude” ideology, consider RVSP’ing today.

[WSJ]

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Citi needs 500 bankers and traders to help it ride the “global genie” train.

Citigroup plans to hire more than 500 bankers and traders over the next two years to strengthen its securities business and make up the ground lost to its rivals during the financial crisis…The plans are part of Citi’s strategy to put its troubled past behind it and harness its global presence and a large cash payment division that gives it access to companies and governments.

“The global genie is not going back in the bottle,” John Havens, Citi’s president, told the Financial Times. “As a bank we are in a position to serve our clients wherever they are and that is something not many of our competitors can say. Going global is not easy.”

Citigroup Plans 500-Plus Hiring Spree [FT]

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“This  move  is  simply  a  poorly  thought  out  one  by  management;  hopefully  it  will  do   better  running  the  business.”

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“This  move  is  simply  a  poorly  thought  out  one  by  management;  hopefully  it  will  do   better  running  the  business.”

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RBS CEO Stephen Hester was recently asked by Parliament to defend his bonus for 2011, which clocked in at around £7.7m. Some might argue the Brits had the right to do so in light of the fact that about 82 percent of the bank is owned by the government. The two sides brought slightly different opinions to the table, Hester being of the mind that the his paycheck was well-deserved, and the MP’s being in strong disagreement, given that RBS recently reported net losses for a third consecutive year.

Things got quite heated, with Labour MP Austin Mitchell asking, “What have you done for £7.7m? Is it that you produced an outstanding enormous profit for the bank, or is it because you are a greedy banker?” Hester, taking umbrage at the suggestion that a) he didn’t earn every pound of his package and that b) he was in anyway greedy sought fit to lay some truth on Mitchell and Co’s asses, telling them his number was “at the low end of comparable jobs in the UK and globally.” An interesting theory!

Here’s what some other bank CEO’s earned this year:

Jamie Dimon: £10.9m
Bob Diamond: £10.1m
Lloyd Blankfein: £7.9m
Josef Ackermann: £7.8m
James Gorman: £4.625m
Vikram Pandit: £0.0m
Oswald Grübel: £0.0m

So overall, Hester is actually more toward the middle on comp but if we’re comparing him to people with actual ‘comparable’ jobs (i.e. guys running firms who’ve only recently begun to emerge from the era of getting their asses handed to them, like Vickles and Grübel and/or were at one time a ward of the state), he’s making out pretty well. But you know what? Those are just numbers and whether he’s at the top end or the bottom shouldn’t actually matter because here’s what- no one’s got a gun pointed to his/her head that will go off if they don’t keep Hester happy. “No one’s forced to employ me,” he said. The bottom line is RBS’s board and shareholders want to pay Hest this much and if they didn’t they’d give him the boot. Speaking of which, let’s make sure Big Daddy sees a few more zeros next year, okay? This time around.

“It is in the hands of others how they want to pay me for that and it is up to me whether I want to do the job for that.”

You’ve all been warned.

RBS Boss: ‘My £7.7m Pay Is At The Low End’ [SN]

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$$$ What Vikram Pandit Knew, and When He Knew It [Bloomberg]

$$$ “A year ago, a family living in this village in the middle of a marsh in the south of Russia revealed what they called a miracle: On the skin of their newborn boy, entire verses from the Koran were appearing, lingering for a few days, and then vanishing. One day, the looping swirl of letters ran down a chubby leg. Another, the name of God shone behind an ear. Quickly, images of Ali, now 2 years old, spread through the North Caucasus. To many, he became a symbol of hope for peace in a mostly Muslim region that has been at war, on and off, for two decades. Ali showed up on cellphone screens and Internet sites, and pilgrims flocked to this place, whose name in Russian means Red October Village. And then, seemingly as quickly as it had started, Ali was hidden from the world. For a few weeks now, the boy’s parents and grandparents have refused to allow outsiders to see him. The reason, bizarrely enough, is Anna Chapman.” [NYT]

$$$ US Cannot Confirm Rumors Gaddafi Shot; Oil Tumbles [Reuters]

$$$ Ex-Morgan Prop. Chief Sze (Officially) Founds Hedge Fund [FINalternatives]

$$$ NYC’s young women out-earning the men, ladies are picking up the tab more often at the end of the night [NYP]

$$$ AIG Looks To Return To Normalcy [WSJ]

$$$ Harold Ford Moving From Flatiron to Chelsea Co-op [Curbed]

$$$ Soros Fund Management’s flagship hedge fund had its worst year in eight in 2010, returning just a quarter of what the average hedge fund returned. [FINalternatives]

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The body language experts at Fox Business could tell Vikram Pandit was telling the truth when he said it because he didn’t run away. He stood there. Cool. Calm. And owned it.

Watch the latest video at video.foxbusiness.com

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From Citi’s latest 8-K, which Vikula is going to have framed and hung in his office:

On January 18, 2011, the Personnel and Compensation Committee of the Board of Directors of Citigroup Inc. approved an increase in the annual rate of base salary for CEO Vikram Pandit from $1 per year to $1,750,000 per year, effective immediately. Richard Parsons, Chairman of the Board of Citigroup Inc., said that “the Board is very pleased with the progress that the company has made under Vikram’s leadership. Vikram has worked tirelessly to put Citi back on the right track, spearheading a restructuring that has returned the company to profitability and positioning the company for future growth. In light of these highly positive accomplishments, the base salary established for Vikram is merited.”

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$$$ Saudi Prince Alwaleed Affirms Support for Vikram Pandit [WSJ]

$$$ Daniel Posner, the former head of hedge fund DE Shaw’s distressed investment unit and one of the firm’s most senior employees, has joined New York-based credit specialist Golub Capital to launch a new hedge fund business. [FT]

$$$ On Wednesday, David Tepper kicked off a campaign to raise $15 million to help feed the needy in his home state. Mr. Tepper, Bank of America and others have donated almost $9 million to the charity, which distributed 37 million pounds of food in 2010. “There’s nothing more important than feeding people,” Mr. Tepper told a sizable audience gathered in the organization’s 285,000-square-foot warehouse, where walls of fresh apples, canned fruit and chili served as a backdrop. “It’s pretty simple. In 2006 and 2007, unemployment was around 4 percent. Now, we’re closer to 9 percent.” [Dealbook]

$$$ Medical Journals May Force Reporting of Doctors’ Hedge Fund Ties [Bloomberg]

$$$ Mexican Musicians Killed After Encore Refused [Newser]

$$$ Dodging SEC Investigators for a Job: Sign or Decline? [FINS]

$$$ Big Selloff in Munis Pays Off for Large Institutions [FBN]

$$$ New funds regulator Eileen Rominger must shed Goldman skin [Reuters]

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