Proving yet again that in this country, we don’t let banks fail, no matter how hard they try.

Citigroup Inc. executives, on the brink of a bank run in 2008 that U.S. officials believed could imperil the global economy, griped that terms of a taxpayer bailout would be too costly for the company. “Many people” at Citigroup opposed the proposal, even after the bank’s stock price plunged below $5, companies started pulling deposits and trading partners demanded collateral, according to the top U.S. bailout watchdog. Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. Chairman Sheila Bair worried the bank wouldn’t be able to open on Monday, Nov. 24, the next business day. The report yesterday by the inspector general of the Treasury Department’s Troubled Asset Relief Program, Neil Barofsky, lays out bank executives’ efforts to get a better deal during three days of negotiations in November 2008 that federal officials later dubbed “Citi Weekend.” Two months earlier, the bankruptcy of Wall Street firm Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. had sent global markets into a tailspin.

Citigroup Executives ‘Griped’ About Take-It-Or-Leave-It Bailout [Bloomberg]

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For those of you who failed to mark it down on your calendars, please be advised that today is Vikram Pandit’s birthday (his 54th to be exact). Normally we’d tell you to drop what you’re doing and pick up something for him A-SAP but this year we’d advise you to go the no presents route. Not because Vickles is one of those faux modest jerks who says “no gifts, just your company” while not really meaning it but because we can say with absolute certainty that you will not top the gift to end all gifts Vikula is already poised to receive. Dick Parsons, if you’ll do the honors.

“Pandit Set to Report His First Annual Profit as Citigroup CEO“

That’s right everyone. This is finally happening. And that’s not all. In addition to living every CEO’s dream, the day Vikram will “make more than $1 a year” is so close he can taste it. If you absolutely must give him something, consider an item that will commemorate this historic occasion, like a hoodie with the words “Big Baller” stitched on the back or a motorcycle with a “Fuck You” license plate.

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“While there was consensus that Citigroup was too systemically significant to be allowed to fail, that consensus appeared to be based as much on gut instinct and fear of the unknown as on objective criteria,” according to a report today from Neil Barofsky, special inspector general for the Troubled Asset Relief Program. “The conclusion of the various government actors that Citigroup had to be saved was strikingly ad hoc.” [Bloomberg]

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$$$ Blackstone’s Wien Offers His ‘10 Surprises‘ For ‘11 [FINalternatives]

$$$ Morgan Stanley Names Strategist Jim Rosenthal COO [WSJ]

$$$ Citibank fraud: FIR against CEO Vikram Pandit, others [ET]

$$$ Atheros stock surges on acquisition talk [Reuters]

$$$ Tucker Carlson backs off ‘execution‘ comments about Michael Vick; host ‘overspoke‘ last week [NYDN]

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For the last few years or so, Citi has been shown relatively little respect by market participants. That may have had to do with the fact that the bank was not a very desirable asset, having decided during the Sandy Weill era that big is beautiful. Unfortunately the C went a little too far with the idea, making it it’s business to consume everything in arm’s reach. It quite literally became “too big to fail,” and the only attention it got was negative. Receiving the sort of admiration and compliments afforded to a place like Goldman or JPMorgan was out of the question; the nicest thing you could say about C was it would take home plenty of ribbons at a pie eating contest– “best digestion,” etc. And Vickles ain’t gonna lie the jabs stung. But now? Post-makeover that’s included shedding assets, slimming down and getting back to the “core” business? Vikram is feeling hot. Regulation hottie hot. And not just when he and C look in the mirror, but in the eyes of the Street.

Pandit touted moves the bank has made to streamline its operations—winding down Citi Holdings, selling assets and improving efficiency in its global operations. The holding company was separated from Citi’s general operations to get rid of the toxic assets that remained on the company balance sheet.

“…the markets are increasingly recognizing who we are…” Pandit told CNBC. The company has made progression in its global business and trading arms and will “have the market appreciate even more what Citi is,” he added.

He’s right of course. This is just the start. Soon, when C walks down the street, people will be yelling out “Yo Citi! [kissing noise] Gimme a piece of that, girl!” Meredith Whitney will ask friends, “Have I been drinking or does Citi look good?” Mike Mayo will make the “call me” gesture when he sees VP at the bar.

Beating them off with a stick won’t even begin to describe it.

Article courtesy of Dealbreaker

So happy to accept this award.

Oh that’s right, ladies. Citi has actually beat Goldman Sachs (and Morgan Stanley) at something. True, it’s the number of times the bank tapped the Federal Reserve’s credit facilities but they will take what they can get!

Goldman Sachs tapped that ass an impressive 84 times, Morgan Stanley topped GS with 212 times in the period between March 2008 and March 2009 but no one was a match for Citi, which “used the Primary Dealer Credit Facility almost daily” through April 2009. Suck on that, Lloyd! Vikram runs this house.

Goldman, Citi, Morgan Stanley Used Fed Facilities Heavily [WSJ]

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When you’re applying for a gig on Wall Street these days, you’ve got to do something that will set you apart from the crowd. Jobs are scarce and while anyone can tell a firm why they should be hired, few go the extra mile to show. Armed with this knowledge and the knowledge that competition for positions at Citi is fierce, one recent applicant knew she had to raise the stakes. She didn’t just send Citi a resume and cover letter indicating her interest and qualifications– anyone can do that. She sent them an 11-page presentation entitled “I’m Always Awake With Citi: 9 Reasons Why You SHOULD Hire Me As Your Investment Banking Analyst” filled with headers like “Smart” and lotsa clip art. Perhaps it was the reasons, perhaps it was the fact that she appealed to someone at Citi’s love of its insomniac tagline, but we’re told she’s been asked to come in next week. (We’re also told she created similar presentations for other banks, such as BAML, which has also invited her to stop by next week, and that she has interviews set up with “several” firms. Citi may be her “dream,” but they’re not the only ones who should be offered a piece of this and girlfriend is a hustler.) Job-seekers, take note.

Subject: Citi Investment Banking Analyst Application

I’m here to apply for Investment Banking Analyst position in Citi, my dream job in dream company. I’m graduating business school in Dec 2010, so I can start work in January 2011. My cover letter and resume are attached and I will appreciate it very much if you could do me favor to talk a look or forward them to other hiring managers.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks very much.

Citi Cover Letter Presentation [PDF]

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Kingdom Holding Co. said the investment firm and its chairman, Saudi Arabian billionaire Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal, invested $500 million in General Motors Co.’s recent initial public offering. The transaction represents 1% of the value of GM’s subscriptions, Kingdom Holding said Tuesday in a statement emailed to Zawya Dow Jones. The firm cited “the global strength of the General Motors brand, the relatively attractive offering price, and the company’s growth prospects in Brazil and China.” [WSJ]

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With the passing of the Dodd-Frank Bill, one pesky thing that banks have had to spent a couple hours getting in line with is the Volcker Rule, and what it means for their proprietary trading desks. Whether to spin them off, send the employees to a farm in the country where they can run around, move them to the basement or just rename the group the ‘troprietary prading’ unit, about which no one will be the wiser, the whole thing has been a bit of a headache. One person who hasn’t lost any sleep over the mandate, however, is Vikram Pandit. Because unlike his counterparts at say, Goldman, who’ve clutched their pearls and felt faint at the thought of a world without prop, Vickles got behind the rule before it was even a twinkle in Volcker’s eye.

“It’s all about clients,” Pandit told the New Yorker. The biggest mistake Citi and other banks made during the boom, he said, was coming to believe that investing and trading on their own account, rather than on behalf of their clients, was a basic aspect of banking. Even before the Dodd-Frank bill was passed, Pandit was closing down some of Citi’s proprietary businesses and trying to sell others. “Proprietary trading is not the core of what banking is about,” he said. In place of a business model that was largely dependent on making quick gains, he is trying to revive a banking culture based on cultivating long-term relationships with Citi’s customers. “Once you make your business all about relationships, conflicts of interest are not an issue,” he said.

Obviously he’s too modest to say it so we will: Vikram wasn’t just complying with the Volcker Rule before it was passed– Vikram invented the Volcker Rule, which shouldn’t even be called the Volcker Rule, it should be the Pandit Precedent, or something. Whatever. You’ll be hearing from his lawyers, Paul, you weasel. Tyler and Cameron Winkelvi know what we’re talking about.

Wall Street, Investment Bankers, And Social Good [New Yorker via Heidi Moore]

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When Brian Moynihan took over as CEO of Bank of America, i.e. the job no one wanted, he knew he wouldn’t have the prestige or money associated with running Goldman Sachs, or the groupies that come with heading up JPMorgan. But at the time, he probably figured it’d at least be better than being the CEO of Citigroup. Sure, he’d have to clean Ken Lewis’s vomit stains out of the rug and spend a bunch of late nights making this thing work, but odd are he didn’t anticipate every waking hour being a scene out of torture movie, like it is these days given the whole mortgage mess gift Lewis and Angelo Mozilo left for him as a surprise. An Irish Rock, however, ’til now he hasn’t shown many signs of cracking. Today, feeling like he was in the company of friends at the Bank of America Merrill Lynch Banking and Financial Services Conference, Bri-Moy unloaded about how much this job sucks.

“There’s a lot of people out there with a lot of thoughts about how we should solve this, but at the end of the day, we’ll pay for the things that Countrywide did,” said Moynihan. “It’s a day-to-day, hand-to-hand combat.”

As we care about the guy and just want to make sure everyone’s prepared with a shoulder to cry on, let’s just guesstimate now, so we can be ready, how long before Moynihan:

* Says he wishes he had Vikram Pandit’s job

* Cries, calls Lewis and shouts “I fuckin’ hate you!” (While Angelo Mozilo, former CFC CEO-cum-BAC-wingman-in-residence frantically makes the “cut it out, end it” sign in the corner, to which Moynihan, covering the receiver, responds “What? I do! I fuckin’ hate him!”)

* Tells a first year analyst: “Forget it, I quit, I can’t do this anymore, man. My head’s about to explode. My whole life sucks! I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know where I’m going. We just killed Bambi, I’m out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel into a Goddamn bridge abutment!”

BofA In Hand-To-Hand Combat Over Mortgages, CEO Says [Bloomberg]

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